


No Attachments

by orphan_account



Series: Tiny Hands Universe [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Crossdressing Kink, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Idols, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Panty Kink, Pining, Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Unrequited Love, Voyeurism, minsung - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21781765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jisung knew this wasn't going to end well. He wasn't supposed to fall in love. This whole thing was supposed to be just a way to blow off steam and get off. It was a friends with benefits thing. They weren't dating. They were not exclusive in any way. Minho didn't even like him in the first place.aka the fic where Jisung falls in love with Minho when he wasn't supposed to and shit happens.This is also written as a back story for my other fic "Tiny Hands" but it can be read on its own without any issues.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung/Choi San
Series: Tiny Hands Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569721
Comments: 75
Kudos: 437





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is actually inspired by a tweet I saw. The original tweet was about hyunsung, but, to fit in with Tiny Hands, I decided to write it with Minsung. I asked op permission to use their tweet as inspiration for this and they said yes! I did change a few things from the original tweet, but the overall concept is still the same. I'll be linking the original tweet in the ending notes but it will include spoilers for this fic, so I strongly advise you only look into it after I'm done writing it.

Jisung could still remember when they first started this whole thing. It was back in their trainee days, when everyone was stressed to their maximum and had no way of relaxing besides eating their anger away. But since, they had to keep their bodies fit, Jisung knew better than do any of that. It wasn’t rare for trainees to be scolded for gaining weight, and he didn’t wanna deal with any of that on top of his problems.

So, most of the trainees had to get quite creative when it came down to blowing off steam. The most common way to that, you may ask? Fucking. Yes, the sweet pleasure of having sex. Of course, it had to be done in absolute secret and with no feelings involved, since it prohibited by the company. It had been made very clear by everyone. Anyone who got caught dating or having any sort of sexual slash romantic relationships, would immediately get cut from the company.

Jisung could understand why they would prohibit such thing. They were working with horny teenagers after all and wanted to avoid any sorts of scandals later on in the debuting process, which happened often. But what they didn’t know about, couldn’t hurt, right? So, the trainees kept on doing their horny duties anyway, but this time with maximum secrecy.

And, just like anyone out there, Jisung was no different. He wanted to fuck away his problems like everyone else. He felt needy and he couldn’t think of anything else that would help him relax other than doing what most teenagers do at this age.

But, of course, Jisung was still to afraid to anything. He was very aware that any dating scandals for him would be immediately worst, since he was not very straight. If he got caught doing anything less than friendly with another boy, not only he would be kicked out of the company, but the rumors would make it impossible for him to debut in any other company. So, it was only logical, he was struggling with what decision to make.

The rapper still wanted to do it, don’t get him wrong, he just wanted to do with someone he could trust and that he knew would never tell anyone about it. Because once an outsider knew, everyone did. It was too risky.

So, the problem had how to find someone that shared his interests and was also trustworthy.

And that came to be Minho, for Jisung’s surprise at the time.

Jisung never thought of the dancer as someone who would be interested in him. They worked together, practiced together and even dreamed of debuting in the same group, but they were never the type to talk much about their personal life and interests.

That’s why, it came to such a surprise when Jisung had caught Minho making out with another trainee in their practice room. He didn’t intend to look, really. It was late and he was just coming back from the studio he had been with Chan. He was tired and just wanted to head home but had remembered he had forgot his phone’s charger in the dance practice room.

Not many people stayed in the company that late, and if they did, it was never in the dance practice rooms. That’s why, he didn’t even think before coming into the room with no care. He didn’t expect to find Minho, of all people, against the mirrored wall, fully making out with another boy.

Jisung didn’t even try to move away and out of the room. He had been so shocked, he just stood there, looking directly at Minho, as if he had seen the ghost of his great grandfather. He never knew Minho liked boys in the first place! Sure, he didn’t exactly act as the stereotyped unbreakable figure of a straight man from the 90’s either, but Jisung didn’t think he had ever showed anything that could paint him as gay. To be fair, Jisung didn’t know he was actually bisexual at the time. Minho only told him about it a couple weeks later after that.

But, what really shocked Jisung enough to make this moment remarkable was the fact that, even after Minho noticed Jisung’s presence in the room, he didn’t stop his movements. Minho kept making out with that random trainee, while staring at Jisung with half-lidded eyes. He didn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that another person was watching him in such an intimate moment.

And that should have not turned Jisung on. But Jisung was one of the many horny teenagers in the company after all. He couldn’t deny that anything could turn hm on at this point.

But after a while, Minho must’ve started to get bored of the whole thing, because he pushed the boy slightly and turned to Jisung.

“Jisung.” He said, his voice hoarse. “I thought he had already headed home earlier.”

The other trainee turned around to look at who Minho was talking to, and upon seeing the boy standing in the entrance, tried to cover his face with his hand and run past him. He was probably afraid of Jisung recognizing him and spreading rumors around. Jisung couldn’t blame him.

But now, he was alone with Minho, who was still standing against the mirror, looking like nothing was happening.

“Not even a good night.” The boy said, with a cocky giggle. “I shouldn’t have expected more.”

Jisung couldn’t say anything. He was still trying to understand what was happening. His heart had calmed a little bit down from the shock, but the awkwardness that followed was no better. What was he supposed to say at these sorts of moments? This was just so weird for him.

“Come on.” Said Minho, calmly, while walking towards his friend. “It’s late. We can walk to the dorms together.”

Jisung didn’t really know what to say, so he just nodded and went along. Minho didn’t seem affected by any of this though.

During said walk. Jisung felt the mood get even worse. The silence was unbearable, although he seemed to be the only one to notice it.

“I’m sorry.” He said, trying to start conversation. “For walking in on you. I didn’t know you were there.”

Minho laughed.

“It’s okay. I was getting bored anyway. He wasn’t all that good at kissing.” The dancer revealed without care.

Jisung nodded with an awkward smile. Hearing Minho tell him about these sorts of personal things was something he was definitely not used to. Minho never really talked about relationships or his any of his experiences with kissing people, so no wonder Jisung was a bit confused with how to act.

“Aren’t you scared?” he asked, anyways. Jisung couldn’t say he wasn’t curious about this whole thing. Not only, he was finding out about a part of Minho he wasn’t aware before, but he wanted to know how the boy could just do these sorts of things without fearing the consequences. “Of getting caught or having other people find out? This is something that could get you kicked out, you know…”

Minho sighed, contrasting to his earlier, more confident behavior. He still had a small smile on his face, but it didn’t look all that energetic anymore.

“Of course, I am, Jisung.” He answered. “Who isn’t? We all know that this sort of thing could ruin someone’s entire career. I’m no exception. But I trust you. I know you would never tell anyone. You know how it feels like.”

With that last part, Jisung stopped walking.

“How could you know that I wouldn’t tell anyone? I could, you know?”

Minho turned around, rolling his eyes.

“Are you kidding me?” he said. “Jisung, honey. Having the word ‘homosexual’ spelled on your forehead couldn’t make it more obvious.”

Well… Yes, but Jisung didn’t think Minho would ever notice that out of all things. But, he figures, people can always recognize other alike.

“Fine.” Jisung said with an annoyed look on his face. “Was your friend also that obvious?”

Minho laughed.

“That guy?” he asked, mockingly. “Oh, no. He still insists that he’s absolutely straight without question. But he said that I looked pretty so he wanted to do it with me. I call it bullshit, but I was bored so, why not?”

Jisung thought the whole thing was hilarious. How could one say he’s “absolutely straight” and then ask to make out with another guy? How can one be this dense to his own feelings?

“Well, I’m sure he’ll start questioning his actions from now on.” The rapper said, going along with the conversation. “I don’t think he’ll do it again soon though. He might be too scared now that he got caught by me.”

Minho shrugged.

“I don’t mind.” He revealed. “I wasn’t planning on doing it again anyway. I don’t usually hook up with straight guys. They’re always too afraid to do things properly. And they don’t care if I finish either. Those types of guys only care about their own pleasure. I would be just a mere toy on his hands. And I don’t go through all this trouble to just not get off.”

Jisung felt like the conversation was starting to take a more intimate mood. They have never talked about things like this. But, Jisung was so curious. He wanted to know more about Minho. Now that he knew the boy was interested in guys, he thought he could have a chance with him. Maybe.

“Did you like it though?” he asked, feeling suddenly bold. “You looked like you were enjoying it.”

Minho looked at Jisung, side eyeing him. He probably could feel the different mood settling in. He didn’t say anything about it though.

“I did, at first.” The dancer started. “But I could feel his hesitance. I knew a simple make out session was all he could do before panicking. It wouldn’t go very far, and I… I wanted to do more…”

Jisung felt a shiver go down his spine when he heard Minho saying that. He knew what that was implying. The rapper could already imagine Minho getting hard from just kisses and trying to grind on his leg, hungrily.

“Do you still want to do more?” he asked.

He didn’t really expect Minho do respond. Jisung was ready to get rejected. After all, why would a experienced gorgeous boy like Minho would want anything with a virgin like Jisung? It didn’t make any sense.

“Yes.” The dancer said, with a shake tone. “I do, actually.”

And that’s how they both ended up making out for the first time in a dimly lighted alley, while grinding on each other’s legs against a wall. Since it was already so late, they were rushing through it, and Jisung could tell his back was going to hurt the next day from standing against such an uneven wall, but he couldn’t care at that moment.

Minho’s moans were simply heavenly. Jisung wanted to hear so much more. He almost couldn’t believe he was the one that had caused this.

And this was when it all started. Them sneaking out and away from the other trainees to get each other off. Jisung could tell they both started to look much happier and brighter, since now they had a way to relax. Other trainees might also have noticed but they both knew there was no way they prove anything. The weren’t so scared anymore.

Jisung lost his virginity with Minho a while after they had started to mess around with each other. He had been so nervous, but Minho was very gentle and prepped him well. He barely felt pain at all.

But he knew this would end up well, when he started noticing that his feelings for the dance were starting to change from just simple sexual attraction. He liked him more than just a friend with benefits now, and that’s what scared him the most. He knew Minho didn’t feel the same. The dancer made it clear to him when they first started that he was not looking for a relationship and that this was supposed to be a no attachments thing.

Jisung had already broken that rule the moment he let Minho kiss him in that dark alley the first night. It had all been a mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you read this, I have to tell you, I wrote this before any news of Jisung having anxiety issues were announced. The fact that in this chapter he deals with it is only a coincidence as I wrote this before any of this happened. I'm not romanticizing Jisung's mental issues as I also suffer from it and know how bad it is, so if you don't feel comfortable with it, I would recommend you to not read it at all. I didn't put anything explicit about it, but there is a scene involving a panic attack, so if you think you would feel triggered, please don't read this for your own good.
> 
> Also, because of this and the recent news, I will be adding more warnings and tags, so people will be prepared. I can assure you there will be nothing explicit about anxiety or depression in this fic. But to make it realistic, I did put some angst as I had tagged before. I will try to make it as light as I can, thank you.

When the survival program started, Jisung was very much aware of how long both him and Minho would have to stay from each other. The cameras would follow them for the most part of their day, but even when they were not around, they still wouldn’t have any time to actually do anything.

They didn’t talk about it obviously. What they had was purely sexual and there was no need to have conversations like that. Also, they weren’t stupid. They wanted to debut and knew that during the program they would be too focused on working to even think of sneaking out together.

Jisung was very stressed during the program, but he could tell Minho was doing much worse. He was getting many more complaints from their boss than he was. While Jisung was being complemented, Minho was being humiliated on television. Jisung absolutely hated that. Minho was just as important for that group as he was. He was so talented and special. How could JYP not see that? He was a great vocalist with a soft voice and would always excel in dancing. Jisung didn’t understand why they were doing this to him.

He tried his best to help him and comfort him. As friends would, of course. He couldn’t be too touch or intimate, as they were almost always being filmed. Jisung could see Minho was getting exhausted of only receiving bad reviews when he was working so hard.

He had always been a hard worker, and Jisung absolutely admired him for that.

Jisung didn’t like seeing him break down after a mission. When they were both in bed, late at night. Jisung could feel Minho’s body shake slightly when he was trying to contain his cries. He probably thought Jisung had already been asleep and wouldn’t notice it. But, little did he know, the rapper was not sleeping well either. Too filled with worry to do so.

As the weeks progressed, Jisung could feel Minho’s resentment towards the company. He couldn’t understand why they were doing this. Maybe they wanted the program to be more dramatic, maybe they really were being sincere with their complaints, but either way, Jisung hated it. He hated JYP for doing this to the dancer and hated himself for being so powerless in these situations.

During one of the missions, it was clear their boss had not been happy with the ending result. He made many comments, about a lot of the members. He didn’t like the production of the song, thinking the key to it was too high for them to handle. He commented on Seungmin, saying he was too average and there was nothing that shined about him. He also asked Minho to rap, even though his position in the group was as a vocalist.

He hadn’t gotten training for this, so why would they ask him to do it? It was as of they wanted him to make mistakes.

Jisung side eyed him and saw his bottom lip tremble. It was probably not very noticeable to the cameras or the rest of the members, but Jisung noticed it. He reached for the dancer’s hand and held it. He knew Minho had had some issues with timing and speed when recording the song, so he made sure to tap with his finger the timing to the beat, so Minho could follow it.

Jisung could feel Minho’s hand shaking and although he had smiled at him just before, the rapper could tell it wasn’t a sincere one. He had done it just to hide the fact that he was panicking inside. But Jisung knew him too well. He knew when his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

His verse ended quickly and soon it was Jisung’s. He let go of Minho’s hand and focused on his own part, with Minho paying attention to him.

At that moment, he didn’t think much about it, he just did it. Jisung just wanted him to do well and show that he could do it. Minho was talented in many aspects, but with the high tension of the survival show, the pressure was taking a toll on him.

After getting to the dorms though, that was a different story. Jisung felt as if he had done something he wasn’t supposed to. He was afraid Minho was going to complain about it or tell him about how they weren’t supposed to look that close on camera. Jisung agreed. Acting as if they were closer to other members would take any suspicion away from them and, therefore, make their lives away from the cameras much easier. But, at that moment, Jisung hadn’t thought about that, he just wanted to help Minho in a way JYP wouldn’t notice. And it had worked anyway.

But, to Jisung’s surprise, Minho hadn’t said anything at all about it. He acted like nothing had happened, because in fact nothing had happened. Jisung reminded himself once again. Minho didn’t like him that way. Minho didn’t think much into things like that, because he didn’t care. Then, of course, it had meant nothing, and Jisung was the only one thinking it had mattered in a way.

Jisung went to his room, wanting to be alone. He hated feeling this way. Feeling like he didn’t matter. Hated being the only one to feel things. Hated having someone so close and still feeling so lonely.

Jisung couldn’t believe something like this was happening. They were doing a mission, and, even though they knew there was a possibility of some of the members getting eliminated, they never really felt like that could ever happen. They all worked so hard and went so well together. How could JYP think taking any of them out would make the group better?

Minho was hugging Chan, while apologizing for getting the lyrics wrong. It had been his last mistake. He had worked so hard for this mission, but the pressure had gotten to him and made him forget the right words. It was just a tiny mistake, it didn’t even matter. It didn’t mean he wasn’t talented and deserving of being in the group. He was just nervous…

Jisung couldn’t move. He was too in shock to do anything really. He could feel tears rolling over his cheeks. He just couldn’t believe this was happening. His breathing was getting uneven and Jisung could tell a panic attach was coming. But he couldn’t let it show. He needed to keep it together. They were being filmed right now. No one should know he was this fucked up in the head. That he was this weak.

Minho looked at him, with a fake smile on his face. His eyes were also watery and Jisung could clearly see how absolutely broken the dancer was feeling. Minho was just very good at keeping his calm in the worst moments. Jisung hated that he needed to do this. His whole dream had been thrown away by someone else. It was fucking unfair! So, he should at least be able to let everything out, right?

“I’m sorry.” The dancer said. “I should’ve done better. You, Changbin and Chan tried really hard to teach me how to do better and I still failed. I’m sorry for wasting your time. You were already so busy and tired… I’m so sorry, Jisung.”

Jisung couldn’t stay and hear this. He just couldn’t. He felt like he was about to fall. His legs felt weak and he just couldn’t hold back his sobs for much longer. He needed to leave. Jisung couldn’t even care about the cameras and the show anymore. He just wanted to run away. Maybe, to somewhere very far, where things would be different.

But there was no such place. So, he ran to the closest place that offer him any privacy whatsoever. He ran away from the stage, passing multiple staff with questioning looks on their faces. Jisung didn’t care if he looked like a complete mess right now. He just wanted to be alone.

He needed to be alone.

Right before getting to the nearest bathroom, Jisung heard voices calling for him, screaming his name and telling him to wait. But that only made him rush even more. They couldn’t see him like this. Never.

He closed the bathroom door behind him and made sure to lock it. He let his body fall onto the floor. His legs now too weak to hold his own weight. He could already feel his throat tightening and his back starting to hurt. It was coming. This feeling was all too familiar to him. It always hurt. And it always made him feel miserable. But he knew it would pass eventually. He just needed some time to let it all out.

There was buzzing in his ears, which were getting louder and louder, but he could still hear the knocks on the door. There were some voices as well. But, at this point, identifying them was too hard. He couldn’t focus anymore.

His breathing became incredibly rapid and irregular. Jisung felt his body lay on the cold floor. His chest hurt. Jisung felt dizzy and his vision was unfocused. He couldn’t breathe properly as much as he tried. The feeling of pure panic settling in. He felt so powerless. He couldn’t help his best friend. The person he loved the most! Why didn’t he say anything to JYP? Why did he just stay quiet?

His head was spinning. He could tell he was still sobbing desperately, even though he couldn’t hear his own voice very well. His back was hurting again and Jisung felt the acid in his stomach start to burn, making him feel nauseous. The bitter taste of bile starting to form in his mouth.

And then he heard a loud noise. He tried to turn his head so he could see what had caused it. The door was now open, despite him remembering to lock it. Someone had probably forced it open, but he couldn’t see anyone.

Then, he felt hands on his shoulders, pulling him back against them. Jisung felt his head fall over their chest. There was a voice he couldn’t quite identify yet. His head was still too much of a mess for him to focus enough. But he could tell the other person had their arms around him, holding him tight. Jisung thought their hands looked familiar.

With his head laying against that person’s chest, Jisung could feel their breathing as well as hear their heartbeat. It was fast, but not irregular. Soon, the rapper started focusing on their breathing, trying to match his to theirs. It was definitely helping him calm down. The person’s heartbeat was also starting to become slower. Jisung thought that maybe they were calming down with him as well.

He didn’t know how much it had passed, but he was finally feeling like himself again, just very sleepy. Jisung was familiar with this feeling. Panic attacks always tired him out. Maybe it was because he felt too much happening at once during those times, his body just felt exhausted afterwards.

Jisung was already closing his eyes, when he heard the person’s voice again.

“Jisung.” It was Minho. He sounded worried. “Are you okay now?”

The rapper couldn’t really talk right now. He felt too weak and his throat was still hurting a bit, so he just nodded.

Jisung felt Minho pull him closer.

“Can you get up?” he asked. “We can go home now. You need to rest.”

Jisung agreed, but only if Minho could stay with him. He just needed to be close to him for now. He would probably have to leave the dorm soon and until then, Jisung wanted to be with him.

Minho helped him get up and they walked to the van that was waiting for them outside. All the members were already inside. The moment Jisung noticed how they were looking at him, he closed his eyes and let himself be guided by his friend. He knew they were worried and wanted to see if he was okay. But he hated getting that kind of attention. He just wanted to go home and cuddle with Minho for as long as he could.

Jisung didn’t talk to anyone that day. The moment they got home, he grabbed Minho’s hand and pulled him to his room, locking the door behind him. He shared his room with Changbin and Chan, and he knew they were also tired and wanted to go to bed, but he just needed to be alone with Minho for now.

The both of them lied down in silence. Minho looked like he wanted to talk about all of this, but Jisung just turned around and motioned for Minho to hold him, just like he had done in that bathroom. He needed to feel like Minho was still here with them. He wouldn’t go anywhere, at least not for now.

Jisung could still have some time with him like this.

Soon, the exhaustion got to him and he felt asleep, with Minho holding him tight.

He dreamed of the two of them, together in the dorms. No one was around. They were alone. They looked happy. Jisung felt happy. They didn’t need to hide or act as if they weren’t close. They could cuddle all they wanted and kiss each other without the fear of getting caught.

But the part that made Jisung the most happy was that, at least in that dream, Minho loved him back. And for that moment, he didn’t feel so alone anymore.

When he woke though, reality brought the feeling of misery with it. Minho was no longer there with him and he knew they would never look as happy like in that dream. Minho had just been eliminated. Minho didn’t love him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, sorry for taking so long to update, I was hella busy and would only have time to write late at night, but then I felt way too tired to do anything really. But now I finally have some time to relax with the holidays. Have this as a Christmas gift :)

Jisung could tell everyone was trying to hide their sadness when Minho left. They were trying to crack jokes about how the dorm would get boring now. How they wouldn’t have someone to annoy and tease them anymore. Although, they always bickered about Minho annoying the other members, everyone knew they actually liked it.

But Jisung wasn’t really feeling like doing any of that. He couldn’t hide the fact that he was devastated by Minho’s departure. They all already knew about it anyways. Jisung was pretty good at hiding his true emotions most of the time, but this was just too much. He was too exhausted to even try to act normal. And Jisung was pretty aware that his friends could tell he was feeling that way.

Chan was always trying to keep him busy, making sure he wouldn’t stay in his room all alone. The leader would ask him to do things Jisung knew didn’t matter at all. But, to some extent, Jisung felt grateful for that. Knowing that Chan was trying his best to make him feel any better, was something he appreciated.

But, soon enough, not even Chan was doing good enough to help him anymore.

They lost Felix too. He had been one of Jisung’s best friends. They were very similar in many aspects and the rapper still could remember when Felix would act all cute and excited around him when he had just started training and knew little Korean. But, of course, Chan was the one who had been most affected by this event. The leader considered Felix as his younger brother, even going as far as talking about how Felix would remind him of his actual brother in Australia. Even the fans knew about this.

Jisung could tell Chan didn’t take Felix leaving the group well. He started spending way more time at the studio than he normally did, using the excuse of having to work extra on new songs. Everyone knew that this was only partially true. Chan did have many songs to work on, but he also wanted to spend time alone and the dorm wasn’t doing it for him. He wanted to think and sometimes even cry, without any disturbances.

And, without any distractions to help him, Jisung’s state started getting worse every day. He was having a lot of trouble doing the missions during the survival show. Woojin had also told him of how he was worried for Jisung. He thought that Jisung’s mental state could heavily affect his performance during the missions and the oldest member knew how doing music and debuting was important to the young rapper.

But he was still doing it anyway. It might not have been his best, but he was surely trying.

But, to Jisung’s worry and surprise, JYP announced, through Chan, that he wanted to talk to the members at their practice room. At first, Jisung’s initial thought was that someone else was going to be eliminated, but soon he started getting doubtful. Eliminations always happened after a mission and their last one had gone fine. They were now working on another one, so why would he just suddenly eliminate someone. There was no logic at all to it. Jisung though there must have been another reason.

And surely there was.

The moment JYP entered the practice room, Jisung could tell there was also someone else waiting outside. At first, he didn’t see who it was, thinking it could have been just another staff from the company that was there for the program or something. But, as soon as their boss called in the two people inside, Jisung knew something was definitely up with this whole thing.

Felix and Minho stepped in, looking a bit serious at first but then smiling after seeing the other members. Everyone was a bit confused but excited to see the two boys again, nevertheless. Their boss then revealed they would be given another chance to stay with the group and debut together. They would do a last mission where JYP would decide whether the group would make their debut as nine or seven members.

Jisung could barely hear anything that followed, about their mission in question. He could only look at Minho. He loved Felix, he truly did, but Minho was different. He loved him too, but… in a different way. Felix was a friend, Minho was… Jisung wasn’t sure what he was exactly. He couldn’t say boyfriend or partner, because they weren’t dating, but he also couldn’t say he was just a friend either, because, at least to Jisung, he was so much more than that.

The moment JYP left the room, Jisung thought about going to Minho, but, for some reason, he didn’t have the courage to do it yet. It felt as if, b going to Minho now, he would be too vulnerable. Minho always made him feel so open and exposed about his feelings, and he wished that didn’t happen. It was a dangerous thing.

Instead, he went to Felix. He also loved him and missed him very much. Jisung couldn’t hold his smile when he felt the boy in his arms and giggling in front of him. He thought he would never have a chance like this again. Of course, they could continue being friends even after the elimination, but it felt different. They had gotten so used to training together and preparing together, that even the thought of one of them not being in the group felt foreign and unwelcomed.

Even, while hugging Felix, he gave Minho a couple of looks. He seemed very happy. The other boys were smiling too. Jisung was sure everyone felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from their backs.

Although, they all knew, this was not definitive. They still had their last mission to pass. If they didn’t, then both Felix and Minho would just end up being eliminated again and go through all that suffering once more. Jisung didn’t even want to think about it.

Later, they helped both boys move their things back to their dorm rooms and adjust themselves. Jisung helped Minho with his bags and with unpacking, but they didn’t do much talking. Maybe it was because of what happened last time they say each other. Minho was probably feeling just as awkward as Jisung was nervous. They hadn’t spoken much since then. And only through the phone. With Minho out from the group’s dorm and Jisung busy with the program, they only talked once. Minho had called him asking if he was okay, and after he got his answer, they didn’t really contact each other. Jisung thought that the two probably had different reasons for acting this way.

As much as they wanted to celebrate Felix and Minho’s being back, they didn’t have time for such thing. They needed to practice as much as they could, to ensure they wouldn’t be split apart once again. This was a very important moment in their life, and they needed to it right.

Until the day of their last mission, things were very chaotic. Jisung and Minho were back at talking, but nothing more than that. And honestly, at least to Jisung, it seemed weird. As if they were back at square-one, when they didn’t know much about each other and wouldn’t talk about anything personal. Jisung felt like this was the beginning of something big between. And it was not a good feeling at all.

At the stage, in front of their boss, while breathing heavily and sweating all over, they all stood still, waiting for the man’s decision about their performance. Whatever he said now would determinate if Felix and Minho would stay in the group or not. Jisung was extremely nervous. For the both of them. He wanted Minho to stay as much as he did Felix, but for entirely different reasons. Felix was his best friend. Minho was… something else completely.

His heart was beating so fast, he could hear it in his ears. This whole moment had been nerve-wrecking. Jisung wanted it to go faster, but at the same time, wanted time to stop right there. He wanted to hear JYP’s response as much as he felt like it would be better if he didn’t. But, he knew, they were all feeling that way.

“You’ll debut as 9.” The man finally announced.

Jisung felt ecstatic. They would debut together. All of them. Jisung couldn’t fully understand what was happening. It was as if the realization hadn’t completely settled yet. He heard the other members celebrate and that snapped him back to reality.

They were all hugging the two members who had been previously eliminated. Jisung smiled and went to hug them as well. He felt so relived. He wasn’t going to feel so alone anymore.

That night Jisung decided to make a terrible decision. At the time, he had been so happy and overwhelmed that he didn’t think of how that could’ve affected his life in a negative way. If only he had been more careful…He wouldn’t be in misery now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since I know you guys are really here for the smut part of it, i'll just provide it to you already

After the show ended and the group was sent home, Jisung kept fidgeting on his seat in the van. He was nervous and excited at the same time. He felt like the ride home was taking longer than usual, but this was probably just his imagination. Jisung wanted to do this already. He knew that if he were to take too long, he would most likely end up giving up on the idea altogether. It would be probably for the best though.

The moment they got home, Hyunjin said he wanted to order some food to celebrate. Chan was obviously very happy to comply with the request, as he was also in the mood to party a little.

The members were starting to sit down on the living room’s floor, as Chan talked on the phone. Jisung saw as the perfect opportunity. He could sneak out with Minho to his bedroom and talk in there. They would be out before anyone even noticed they were gone in the fist place! It was perfect.

Jisung got closer to Minho and called him over to his room. The boy was confused at first, but he seemed to understand what was happening after he saw the hungry look in Jisung’s eyes. It always started with something this simple. They have already done this so many times that both of them had no issue with noticing the signs they gave one another.

They went inside the room and Jisung made sure to lock the door behind them. Minho smiled in a mischievous way at him.

“Missed me this much?” he asked. “Can’t even wait until the members are asleep. We just got home, and you already want my cock? How slutty, Jisung…”

Jisung could feel his dick twitch at that. Minho was always so good at dirty talking. Jisung missed hearing him say things like this.

“Yes.” He responded. “Please, touch me now.”

Minho grinned and grabbed Jisung’s arm, pulling him softly towards the bed. As kinky as Minho was, he was also the caring type. He knew Jisung would be too tired to do anything crazy right now, so he decided to at least make him comfortable.

Jisung laid down and Minho was on top of him in a second.

“You have been such a good boy.” Minho started. “Waiting for me for so long… I know you don’t like waiting. But you did well, baby.”

Jisung really liked being called sweet nicknames. It made things sound so much more intimate. Although, he knew that, for Minho, this was just part of the role playing and it meant nothing. He liked to pretend Minho actually cared for him like that.

“Because you were such a good boy, I’ll give you a reward.” He said. “We can’t fuck today though. I know you wanted my cock so much, but the other members are here, and they would notice something is off. Also, you know you’re loud…”

He really was. Jisung was a bit disappointed but he understood. The only times they’ve ever fucked was when the members were out, or they found a way to sneak out to somewhere with more privacy. Which happened very rarely, of course.

Most of the time, they needed to be careful with their surroundings. Jisung was pretty aware of his exhibitionist kink, but he still felt like pursuing it would be way too risky.

Minho started kissing his neck and giving it a few bites, not hard enough to mark the skin though. Jisung had talked to him about hickeys once, and they had agreed to only do it in places clothes would cover. Minho usually gave them on the inside of Jisung’s thighs. Not only they were covered all the time, as well it was very pleasing to receive them.

Jisung felt a hand move towards his crouch, caressing his abdomen on its way. He knew what Minho was going to do, since they didn’t have much time to much more than that.

Even though he had expected more, Jisung was happy. Finally, after so long, they would be able to touch each other. He couldn’t hide his excitement and he was sure Minho could tell.

Jisung let out a breathy moan the moment Minho’s hand touched his private parts. He didn’t know he would this sensitive and failed to keep his noises in. Minho wasn’t even touching his skin yes, his hand was only caressing his dick over the fabric of his clothes, and yes, Jisung was already this needy.

“Wow!” Minho said, surprised. “You really did miss me! I didn’t expect you to be so needy. I’m flattered.”

Jisung could tell where this was going. He loved when Minho was talkative. Most of the time, Minho would only call him nicknames and say what he wanted to do and that’s it. But sometimes, very rarely, Minho would talk to him just like always liked. He would anything that was on his mind at that moment, with no filter whatsoever. Jisung loved those moments.

Minho then removed his hand, just to shove it inside of Jisung’s clothes and underwear. The moment Minho touched Jisung’s dick, the rapper had to put a hand over his mouth to keep quiet. He had to remind himself the other members were just outside that door and could hear everything. Jisung was usually loud, and during sex was no exception. Minho was very aware of this.

Minho’s hand started moving faster each time Jisung’s dick twitched from the attention. The vocalist giggled when Jisung couldn’t hold back a muffled moan.

“Poor baby is so sensitive.” He mocked. “I wonder if you could last more than 5 minutes if you were actually fucking me right now.”

Jisung agrees.

Minho keeps going anyway. He started jerking off Jisung and dirty talking to him and he felt in heaven at this moment. But soon enough, when Minho would notice Jisung was getting close to cumming, he would remove his hand or tighten his grip at the base, so Jisung’s finish at all.

For someone who was worried about their limited time, Minho seemed to enjoy taking his time all too much. Jisung was sure that soon the members would notice their absence, but he was going to say anything. He wanted to get off and he missed Minho doing that for him.

While the vocalist started his ministrations again, he also started sucking on the underside of Jisung’s thighs, making the skin there turn pink and then purple. Jisung loved when Minho gave him hickeys. Whenever he would look at them in the mirror, he felt as if Minho owned him somehow. As if Minho was putting his mark on him. Although, in reality it meant nothing to the dancer.

But Jisung wasn’t thinking about that right now.

He was more focused on the pressure forming on the lower part of his stomach. He knew that it meant he was close. If Minho noticed anything in his expression, he would stop his movements right away. Jisung then closed his eyes and tried his hardest to not make any louder sounds or to move too much. He wanted to cum so much. It was starting to hurt. He really needed it. He couldn’t even feel sorry for trying to cum without Minho’s permission. He just needed it.

Apparently, his little plan had worked, because a few seconds later, he was hit with an intense orgasm. Jisung finally allowed himself to move and opened his mouth to let a handful of moans out. He at least tried to not make them too loud. Jisung still had his eyes closed and wasn’t able to catch Minho’s expression. He hoped he wasn’t too mad about it.

When the sticky mess on his belly started to feel gross, he decided to open his eyes. Surprisingly, Minho was staring at him with a smile on his face instead of an annoyed one. It almost made Jisung believe this wasn’t just a sex thing anymore. It almost made him believe this could turn into something more.

“You know I’m gonna have to punish you now, right?”

Jisung was hoping he would.

Minho then started taking his shirt off and then his pants. Jisung was staring at him during the whole thing. Minho had such a pretty body. His abdomen wasn’t defined, and he definitely didn’t have abs, but Jisung thought that this only made him even more attractive somehow. His thighs were muscular and thick and Jisung loved appreciating them very much.

His dick was the best part though. It was big and Jisung often had issues with fitting it into his mouth. Jisung had a pretty sensitive gag reflex and although it got much better with time and practice, Jisung thought that it was pretty reasonable to think it was too big of a dick for his mouth.

The first time they ever did something like this, Jisung would only lick the sides and fit the head in, but now he was proud to say he could fit half of it. Minho never seemed to mind that, however. He once told Jisung that seeing the rapper struggle with his size turned him on even more as it boosted his ego.

So, when Minho talked about punishing him, Jisung already knew what was going to happen. The moment Minho took of his underwear, to reveal his hardening cock, Jisung knew better than to wait any longer. He got out of the bed and positioned himself on his knees, on the floor.

Seeing that, Minho smiled devilishly.

“Eager, aren’t we?” his tone only made Jisung even more excited.

Jisung couldn’t help but worry if he had lost the ability to control his gag reflex after all these months of not doing anything. Minho was the only person he has ever given a blowjob to and since they were too busy with the survival program, they couldn’t mess around like they normally would. And that made Jisung start to worry about how his gag reflex would react when Jisung started blowing him. He didn’t wanna embarrass himself even more.

Minho got closer and started down at Jisung, with a pleased grin displayed on his face. The vocalist held his dick closer to Jisung’s mouth, the tip of it almost touching his lips. Jisung couldn’t help but drool over the sight. He knew this was supposed to be a punishment, but Jisung always loved having Minho’s dick in his mouth.

The oldest of the two then motioned to Jisung to open his mouth, and he did as he was told. Jisung was expecting Minho to just slide his dick in, but the boy didn’t, which just confused Jisung and propped him to look up with questioning eyes.

“I know you like blowing me, baby.” He said. “That’s why your punishment will be to just keep your lips open, waiting for me to cum in your mouth. No touching.”

Jisung whined, but still obeyed. This would also end up not being as enjoyable for the dancer, but he didn’t seem to mind. Too into the role play to actually care, focusing only on Jisung’s punishment for now.

And, after giving Jisung a evil smile, Minho started gliding his hand over the sensitive skin of his cock. He wasn’t fully hard yet, which was fair, since he hadn’t touched himself before helping Jisung. But it didn’t take too long for his dick to start getting harder. Jisung watched I amazement as the dancer’s cock grew right in front of his eyes. Even though his own dick did the same thing, it had always been more interesting when it happened with Minho for his size.

As the dancer kept jerking himself off in front of Jisung, the rapper noticed how sensitive he actually was. Minho soon closed his eyes and seemed to be trying to keep his noises in. Minho was always the type to be embarrassed with his moans, which Jisung thought was nonsense, because he sounded absolutely beautiful like that.

That’s why Jisung felt his hand start to rub Minho’s thighs slowly and softly, to try to make the other boy relax and stop paying so much attention to the sounds he was making.

“I know you wanna moan.” Jisung said. “Please don’t hide those sounds from me… You sound so good when you’re getting off.”

Minho didn’t even open his eyes to respond him.

“I thought I said no touching.” The dancer argued but made no motion to stop Jisung whatsoever. Jisung knew that deep down he wanted this. He wanted to let it all out.

“Please.” Jisung pleaded again. “Just this once.”

Minho seemed to think it over for a bit, even slowing his movements a bit. But as soon as he started to build a rapid rhythm again, his mouth opened to let out the most beautiful little noises Jisung has heard before.

The rapper could tell that, although Minho accepted his request, he was still trying to keep the volume down, since the other members could hear them.

Judging from Minho’s moans, Jisung noticed the boy was getting close to finishing, and opened his mouth wide, waiting for his seed. He didn’t actually enjoy the taste of it but knowing that it came from the dancer did it for him.

“Sungie…” the boy let out in the midst of his pleasure. “I’m gonna cum…”

Jisung waited for it with his lips wide open, excited. He had missed doing things like this.

And after a few seconds, Jisung’s tongue was hit with the whitish hot liquid he was so familiar with at this point. He closed his eyes, so none of it would accidentally get in, and just took it all. As his mouth would start getting full from the amount, he’s swallow it and wait for more. Because of that, some of it fell on his chin. He probably looked like such a slut right now. Jisung loved it.

After a few seconds, Minho had stopped cumming and Jisung opened his eyes again, just to be blessed with the sight before him.

Minho’s face was flushed pink and his eyes were watery from the pleasure. Jisung could tell he had enjoyed the experience much more than he anticipated. His lips were bitten red and Jisung imagined kissing them with his own.

After seeing such thing, Jisung barely could notice the following words leaving his mouth.

“I think I might love you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is hella small but deal with me right now ok

The moment those words left his mouth, Jisung saw the expression on Minho’s face change. That had been a mistake. He shouldn’t have said anything.

Like always, he ruined it.

“I think it’s better if I go now.” Minho said quietly.

Jisung watched as the dancer just grabbed his clothes, dressed up and left, closing the door behind him. The rapper was left there alone, still shocked from what had just happened. A minute ago, everything was fine and Jisung was happy, and now he had ruined everything.

He knew Minho didn’t like him like that. He always did. Then, why did he say those words? He should’ve known this would end well.

From the moment he had started this whole thing with Minho, he had known his feelings for the other boy were not just friendly. What they had was never just simple attraction for Jisung. It meant far more to him. He would always imagine how things would go if he ever confessed to the dancer. In his dreams, he had hoped Minho accept him and fall in love with him too.

He couldn’t have been father from the reality. Minho never liked him in that way. For him, this whole thing was never more than friends with benefits. Jisung knew this, even though he tried to deny it constantly.

He should’ve kept his mouth shut. If he did, they could still be together right now, even if not romantically.

A few days passed after what happened. Minho was not talking to him like he normally would. Sure, he still spoke to him, when needed, but that was it. It felt like they weren’t even friends anymore. Jisung couldn’t have felt worse. Despite his feelings for the dancer, Minho was still one of his best friends, and he had ruined their friendship by getting attached.

Chan definitely noticed what was happening. To be honest, Jisung doubted there was even one member from the group who hadn’t noticed the sudden change in their relationship. They were far more distant then they made themselves to be in public.

He felt immensely guilty. Minho had been clear that he never wanted a relationship. The only reason they had started to do this was because it was safer when it was with someone close. Idols had a hard time when it came to getting involved with other people, being that romantically or not.

Jisung was never meant to get too attached.

Before they were meant to start practicing for their schedules before debut and the release of their mixtape, all the members decided to have some fun for a bit. Some members went home to visit their parents, and some were going out with friends. Jisung was going to stay home though.

He just wasn’t in the mood to see anyone really. He was planning on staying in his room until practice started.

But then he heard the door open. Jisung turned his face to see what happened and saw Minho standing in his doorframe. He looked somewhat nervous, but Jisung thought that feeling was more directed at him more than anything.

“I think we need to talk.” The dancer said softly, although it still made Jisung scared for what was going to happen. “I don’t want things to end like this. We still need to live and work together. It’s better to just talk it out.”

_End_. Jisung hated hearing that word, because it solidified what was happening between them. Everything they had, even if only sexual, was now over. And what for? Some stupid mistake from Jisung’s part.

But he shouldn’t be mad. This was his fault after all. Minho always told him he didn’t a relationship. Minho had been very honest with him about that part. Jisung should’ve stopped when he had the chance. He should’ve talked to Minho about his growing feelings so this wouldn’t have gone this far.

It was too late now though.

Jisung nodded and sat down straight on his bed. Minho walked towards him and sat right next to him. His thighs almost touching. It made Jisung feel so pathetic. The fact that Minho even felt like he needed to do this. The fact that Jisung knew how uncomfortable Minho was when it came to relationships, but he was now right here, having to talk to Jisung about this… Jisung felt terrible.

“Ji… I know this isn’t why you wanna hear, but,” Minho started. “You know I’m not with relationships. We’ve talked about this… The whole point was to not get involved.”

Jisung nodded, keeping his head looking down.

“I know.” Jisung responded. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner. I knew you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore if you found out I had feelings for you, so I hid them. You had the right to know about it. You were always very honest with me and I should’ve done the same. I was selfish and I’m sorry.”

For the whole time, Minho was silent. The boy seemed very uncomfortable with this whole conversation. That’s why Jisung tried to keep it as simple as possible, to not further bother Minho.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. No one can control their feelings.” He said. “I just wanted to talk to you about it to clear things up. And… to let you know that we should probably stop messing around with each other now.”

Jisung knew this was going to happen. There was no way Minho would be comfortable with him now. It was never Jisung’s intention to be burdensome.

“I understand.”

Minho gave him a little smile. It seemed more out of pity then anything else. Jisung knew the boy was just trying to be nice to him and comfort him, but it only made him feel even more miserable. The rapper probably looked so pathetic right now.

The moment Minho closed his door behind him, Jisung felt his eyes water. He had been holding them in during this entire conversation. He didn’t want to look weak in front of the dancer. If Minho saw Jisung cry, he would only feel guilty and Jisung didn’t want that. Minho didn’t do anything wrong. This was Jisung’s problem to deal with after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating sooner but i had some issues with my computer, but now it's back to wroking and can go back to writing fast

After a few weeks, Jisung could tell their relationship had gotten better. Minho was now talking to him once again, still a bit awkward, but trying, nevertheless. Jisung appreciated his effort. It probably made him uncomfortable. Jisung was grateful.

Soon, Jisung started loosening up as well. He still felt very strongly towards the boy, but he tried to keep his feelings at bay. Because of that, they were able to keep going as friends.

Minho didn’t know though, how much this was taking a toll on Jisung. It hurt seeing his feelings being rejected this way, but he couldn’t bother Minho anymore. It was over. End. No coming back now. Their relationship had finally started to get better and Jisung really didn’t wanna ruin it. Again.

So, he tried to act as if he was fine. As if he didn’t cry almost every night from feeling so guilty and lonely. Jisung tried his best to not be selfish again. Minho was very important to him and he loved the dancer, even when he couldn’t be with him.

They were now promoting their predebut mixtape. Jisung was nervous, as this was his first time actually promoting and performing on music shows. But it was a good type of nervous. It made him excited for the future. His heart jumped every time he heard a fan scream his name. He had fans. Someone out there actually liked him and favorited him. It would take some time for him to get used to this whole thing.

After their performance, they had a free afternoon. Because they had already practiced these songs for months during the survival program, their managers were letting them off a bit. Soon they would actually debut and things would get much harder than now.

Jisung was alone in his room. Changbin and Chan had decided to go to the studio. Chan even tried to call Jisung to come with, but the moment he laid his eyes on the boy, he changed his mind. Jisung knew he looked very tired. His skin was breaking out from stress and he had dark bags under his eyes. Most of this had not been caused by their promotions though.

But no one needed to know that.

Without much energy to do anything with the other members, Jisung laid down on the bed. He had been trying to sleep a little earlier now that he had the time. Last night had been a sleepless one and tomorrow would be a tiring day, so might as well rest for now.

But the moment he closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable, his mind was completely filled with Minho and how they used to cuddle sometimes after getting each other off, because of how tired they were to get up. Jisung could still remember how pretty Minho looked when sleeping. Especially up close.

Jisung tried to push his thoughts away, but to no avail. Every time he tried to think about something else, memories of the two of them together made their way into his mind. Jisung sighed when a memory of Minho and him in bed, together.

This had been the first he had sex with Minho. He trusted him enough to lose his virginity with him. Minho had been so gentle. Always asking him if he was okay and if they could go further. Minho had made everything so much easier than he thought it would be- Jisung barely felt any pain. Minho kissed him through the uncomfortable parts until he forgot about them. Jisung had been nervous about it, but only for the first minutes.

That had been the only time they done it though. Minho said he had been honored to be the one to take Jisung’s virginity, but it would be better if they didn’t go that far anymore. Jisung had agreed at the time, but he shouldn’t. It was then he had realized he had feelings for Minho. He trusted him enough to the first. But he shouldn’t have.

But remembering how gentle Minho had been and how good everything had felt, jisung couldn’t help but feel the growing pressure on his private parts. He felt so conflicted with everything that was happening. Now that Minho and him weren’t hooking up anymore, shouldn’t he be repressing these feelings? Shouldn’t he be trying to forget him?

Jisung’s conscious was telling “yes” but Jisung’s hardening dick was telling him otherwise.

Fuck it. It wasn’t like Minho was here to see it anyway.

Jisung let his hand travel over his belly and his waist until it touched his pubic area. Instead of just going for it, he decided to tease himself first, just to really work him up some more. He usually didn’t have the time do things like this, so he was planning on enjoying this.

His hand travel over his inner thighs, where Minho once gave him many lovebites. Now, his skin was clean and unmarked. He missed staring at the dark spots in the mirrors. They never failed to make him feel good.

He imagined Minho was there, kissing his skin, and marking him. Always with that damn devilish grin he loved so much. Jisung’s breath hitched when his nails scratched the sensitive skin, leaving red lines over it. If he couldn’t have the hickeys, he would have to take matters into his on hands, literally.

He could feel his cock start to get harder just by imagining Minho being there with him, making him feel good. Jisung already felt so sensitive. His little cock already leaking precum without even being touched yet. Jisung knew if he were to touch his dick now, he wouldn’t be able to wait much longer. He didn’t wanna cum too soon, so he decided on doing something else for now.

He looked for the bottle of lube he kept hidden under his bed, and opened, putting just a tiny amount of the liquid on his fingers. With his clean hand, he took off his pants and his underwear, throwing them away randomly. He palmed his balls just slightly, to raise them up a little, giving more access to the are he truly wanted to touch.

Jisung guided his hand towards his hole and softly spread the lube over the sensitive skin. The action made him let out a soft moan that could barely be heard in his silent room. He pressed a finger in, with little resistance. Although Jisung had already done this many times, he had been very busy the last months so it had been a while he had touched himself there. He would have to be very gentle.

Just like Minho had been with him.

He pressed another finger in, stretching him even more. He liked feeling full but his fingers were still nowhere near Minho’s cock. They couldn’t reach the places the boy’s dick could. But he tried to imagine it anyways. Tried to imagine that these were Minho’s fingers, instead of his. That Minho was right there between his legs, looking at him with that hunger in his eyes. The one he had seen many times despite them having done this only once.

The rapper then started to move his fingers a little faster, taking them out slightly just to push them back in once again. As he fingered himself, Jisung’s sounds were starting to get louder and messier. He was lucky there was no on else in the room with him and not many members in the door altogether. They would probably not hear him.

As he kept getting more and more relaxed, Jisung decided to add a third finger. He always had loved the feeling of being stretched open. The pain hurt so good to him.

When he finally got another finger in, Jisung had to stop for a moment. Not because of the pain or anything like that, but because he thought he was too close to cumming. He wanted to edge himself today. He wanted this to last. Soon, he wouldn’t have time for any of this, and Jisung wanted to enjoy it as much as he could.

He breathed in and calmed himself only for a moment though, and then started moving his fingers again. Slowly this time, to not give himself too much to enjoy. Like this, Jisung could really feel every little bump or wrinkle on his fingers. His fingers weren’t exactly long but they could get the job done quite nicely. Minho's hands were also not that different than his own, but because they were Minho's, it surely made a difference to Jisung. Doing pretty much everything with the dancer always felt so much better.

Jisung could feel himself getting dangerously close to cumming once again and he stopped his movement quickly, but even after doing that, he could still feel the presure in his lower tummy build, so he used his other hand to grab the base of his cock, to stop himself from cumming.

Although, no actual cum came out, Jisung still felt the orgasm. He had never had an dry orgasm before so this was surprising to him. His body was shaking and his head light. He was still rock hard, as the dry orgasm didn't dimish his need to cum.

Jisung once again started moving his fingers slowly and took off his other hand from his cock and placed it on his chest. Jisung very rarely played with his nipples to be honest, but he was feeling so sensitive today, might as well do it too.

The rapper then started to gently pinchig his right nipple. At first it didn't feel all that great, but as soon as he started pinching it harder to the point the skin was all red and abused, he could definitely feel the pleasure coming from the action.

He knew that if he did this at this pace, he wouldn't be able to last much more. The pleasure he was getting from both the fingering and playing with his nipple was too much already. Jisung was now very close. He could feel the presure forming in his private parts. His moans were getting louder and messier. As he kept on imagining that Minho was the one doing these things to him, his mouth couldn't help but spell out the name of the boy. He was rumbling so much that he was sure no would even understand anyway, so he didn't bother being quiet.

By now, any member at the dorm could probably have heard some of his not so innocent sounds alreay. He didn't care. His mind way too focused on his next orgasm to think properly about the consequences.

As soon as the whitish liquid started sputing out of his erethra, Jisung felt a wave of pure pleasure cross through his body. This was probably one of the strongest orgasms he's ever had. And this was probably due to the edging and dry orgasm from earlier.

By the time, his breathing was starting to slow down, his mind started functioning again. He immidiatly felt guilty about doing something like this. He and Minho had nothing anymore. The dancer would probably be incredibly uncomfortable if he found out about any of this.

Jisung got up and went to take a shower, feeling pathetic still.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am again with another chapter y'all. This one is probably gonna be a big surprise to y'all. This was actually an idea i got from a comment in one of the prior chpters, but i did put my little twist into it though. Hope u enjoy it!

Jisung tried to stop thinking about how much he missed Minho. Every time he was with him, he couldn’t help but stare at the boy and think about how he wanted him. Jisung not only wanted to be cared for by Minho, he sure as well missed being touched by him. Honestly, the whole point they started hooking up was to get each other off, and now that they’re done with that, Jisung was just incredibly horny all the time.

He had no one to fuck around with and he felt guilty when he would jerk off, because Jisung would always end up doing it while thinking about Minho. It was embarrassing.

Jisung had been struggling for a few days now, when suddenly he got a text from his friend, San. The idol wanted to meet him to eat and talk about things. This was something quite normal for them, even when they had schedules. San had been the only person Jisung had ever told about being gay other than Minho, and he trusted him. Jisung didn’t think much about and said yes. He had a few hours until his night time practice was supposed to start.

Jisung got ready and went out to the place they had settled in meeting.

It was a small barbecue restaurant, with a few tables. There weren’t many customers, due to being afternoon yet. Most people only ate barbecue at lunch or at night. San had already been waiting for him at the table closest to the corner. He was wearing both a mask and a cap to hide his face, while Jisung only had a mask on.

The younger rapper walked to his friend’s direction and sat down on the chair in the opposite end of the circular table.

“So…” Jisung started. “How’s been life?”

San visibly rolled his eyes.

“Cut the bullshit.” The boy said. “Why are you and Minho acting weird lately? It must be bad since you don’t usually show that much awkwardness on camera.”

Jisung stiffed. Until now, he had thought he was doing a good job at keeping things normal, especially in front of the cameras. Had he been this obvious?

“We broke up.” Jisung said, but then spoke again. “I mean not really, since we were never a thing in the first place. We stopped hooking up. Minho thought it was for the best to do that.”

San tilted his head.

“Something’s wrong.” He said. “Last time I met you, you said things were going great and that you two had a lot of fun together. What’s this all of a sudden?”

Jisung went quiet for a few moments.

“I might have confessed my feelings to him.” He finally admitted. “And Minho might had rejected me and told me to just stay as friends.”

San frowned. He sincerely looked upset for Jisung’s situation.

“Did he say he didn’t like you that way?”

“Yes.” Answered Jisung quickly. “He did. He was very clear about that actually.”

San looked down in annoyance and then up again, staring at Jisung with anger, although it didn’t seem like it was directed to him.

“Well…” the boy started. “Do you want him back?”

Jisung looked at him for a few moments in confusion.

“I mean, yes, of course.”

San smiled.

“Then, we should hook up.”

Jisung wasn’t very sure of this at first, but it was a good plan after all. Not only it would be a good way to see if Minho liked him or not, and both Jisung and San would get to actually release some tension in the process. It seemed great.

At first Jisung actually thought they would only fake going out, but San said it would too obvious. The only way Minho would believe they were hooking up was to actually hook up.

Jisung considered the idea for a few hours, but decided to just accept it in the end. He was indeed getting sexually frustrated by now. He was so desperate do have sex with someone. He couldn’t care if it would with one of his best friends, and with the intension to make his crush jealous.

It could work.

They didn’t actually do it until maybe 3 weeks after that. When Stray Kids was still practicing for their official debut. Jisung had been very stressed the last few days because of the recordings. The key to their new song was especially high, thanks to their leader, and Jisung had been practicing non stop to be able to hit those notes perfectly on stage.

They were in the process of learning the choreography. They had already spent seven hours straight on this and it was already evening. They were all incredibly tired and some of the members still had practice at night. Jisung just couldn’t go any longer. He was tired and honestly too stressed to even do the moves. He needed a break. But he wouldn’t be able to get one without an excuse.

That’s why he told Chan he was going to one of the studios to work on a song. The leader even offered to go with him and help, but Jisung denied, telling him he wanted to work on it on his own. This wasn’t a weird thing to happen. Sometimes, even Chan asked to be alone. So, the leader just shrugged and went to the dorm, with the promise to come back later to walk him home.

The moment Jisung was in the studio room, he texted San, telling him he had time. Thirty minutes later, the boy showed up to his studio. He was wearing something very similar he had used at the coffee shop three weeks prior. Still in the mask and cap, and keeping the colors of his clothes neutral. His hair color though, was nowhere near neutral.

San stood in the entrance for a few seconds and then closed the door behind him, taking his mask and cap off.

“Then,” he said. “Should we get started?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a tiny advice with a tiny spoiler, use condoms ok, be safe, although in this chapter you will see unsafe sex, it does not mean u shouldn't use it in real life!

San turned out to be rougher than Jisung had expected him to be. It wasn’t a surprise, since the two of them had already spoken about things like this in advance. Jisung liked it, to be honest. Minho could also be rough with him, but they never really had time to do anything more elaborate.

Jisung wanted to be the bottom, of course. It had been a long time since he had a dick in his ass and he quite missed the feeling of it. San was more than happy to take the part as well.

The two laid down on the simple couch almost every studio had. Jisung being at the top, sitting with his thighs across San’s crouch. The younger rapper could definitely tell San was just starting to hard, and as much as doing this was freaking him out a bit, he wanted to please the boy. He had only been fucked once before, but he knew what he would probably have liked, and acted according to that. Him and San were very different, so Jisung decided to keep it simple for now. To try and see what the boy liked to do.

San pulled him into a kiss, soft at first but soon building momentum. Jisung hated to admit but San was a better kisser than Minho. That didn’t make Jisung feel any less about the other boy though. He still wanted him back, since for him it was never just a sex thing.

As Jisung felt San’s dick start to grow harder with their kiss, he decided to add to his excitement by rolling his hips just enough so his ass could stimulate the boy’s private area. San seemed to like it, as he moaned softly in his mouth. Hearing that, Jisung kept moving his body in the same way. A slow rhythm that was doing much pleasure for the both of them.

Now fully hard, San’s dick seemed to be around the same in size to Minho’s, which made things easier for Jisung. Since he’d had Minho’s dick inside of him before and San’s was basically the same length, he knew what to expect. He knew that with the proper care, he wouldn’t feel any pain, which was what he had been most worried about.

San wrapped his arms around Jisung’s waist and rested his head on Jisung’s chest. The rapper felt San’s dick twitch in his pants as the boy helped him move faster. They kept doing this for a short moment, but San stopped his hips with his hands.

“Do you want me to cum too soon?” the older boy said. His voice hoarse.

Jisung moaned from the sensitivity but also from how hot San sounded just now. He was already breathless and then hadn’t even taken their clothes off yet.

San decided to deal with that though. He motioned for Jisung, silently asking if he could take the boy’s shirt off, and Jisung happily agreed. After his upper body was exposed, Jisung did the same thing to San.

“Do you want me to prep you, or do you wanna do it yourself?” San asked.

Jisung gave it a thought. Although he was into exhibitionism and would most definitely enjoy being watched, he also didn’t know much about San and didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable. The first option it is then.

“You do it.” He said.

San nodded and flipped him over, so Jisung would be under him. The older boy then led his hands to the hem of Jisung’s pants, pulling them down. Jisung’s breathing hitched at that. He was excited.

After he was all naked, Jisung closed his legs for a bit, feeling a little self-conscious about his skinny body. But San grabbed his hands on his knees softly, pulling them apart.

“You know you don’t need to be scared with me.” San said.

Jisung nodded.

“Ok.” He said. “Thank you.”

The older man just smiled at him and proceeded to look for something in his pocket, which turned out to be a travel sized bottle of lube. Jisung knew San liked taking precautious when it came to sex, but he didn’t know it was to this extent.

The boy opened the bottle and let a bit of the sticky liquid onto his hand, then rubbing it together with his fingers to make it warm.

“Ready?” San asked, looking at Jisung seriously.

The rapper nodded, without hesitation. He wanted this. Even if he didn’t have the same kind of feelings for San as he did for Minho, San was still someone he trusted to do this.

His friend then moved his lube coated finger towards his entrance, slowly. The moment Jisung felt one slick finger touch the sensitive skin of his hole, his whole body shivered and he felt his legs close slightly. It felt so different, being touched in such a private area by someone else. With him, it was just pure instinct and lust, with other people, it just felt… intimate.

“I’ll put one finger in now.”

“Put two.” He told San, who looked at him with doubt. “I’m excited, now do it, please.”

San giggled at Jisung’s impatience, but obliged either way.

The older boy pushed two of his fingers at the same time, very slowly, so Jisung would get used to the stretch. Little did San know, he was already used to it. He might have only done this once with another person, but believe him, he had done this many times on his own.

Jisung moaned breathily when the two fingers where inside of him fully. He didn’t feel any pain whatsoever. He wanted more. Way more.

“Please…” Jisung moaned while trying to move his hips, looking for more friction.

San got his message and started moving his fingers in an out, in a steady rhythm, making Jisung moan loudly. Jisung had his eyes closed for most of the time, but he opened occasionally, just so he could see how San looked like. He had grin on his face, a pleased one. This reminded him a lot of Minho in certain moments. Special ones, when they could let go.

Like the last time they ever did anything together. That’s how Minho looked like… Before Minho ruined everything by saying those words.

He closed his eyes again, trying to forget. This was not the moment to be thinking of Minho. He wasn’t with Minho right now. He was with San. And although the two of them already had a plan to help Jisung get the dancer back, during sex was no time to think about it specifically.

San then curved his fingers and Jisung felt a shot of pleasure cross through his body. He had felt this before, but San had pressed much harder than he had ever been able to. His fingers weren’t as long as San’s, so that’s only logical. His legs instinctively closed.

“Stop.” He said. “I don’t wanna cum yet.”

San took his fingers out the next second. Jisung took a few seconds to breathe before he could switch their places once again, placing himself on top. San’s back against the couch while Jisung was spread out over his lap.

“I’m ready.” He said with a breathy voice. “Can I ride you?”

San seemed very surprised with what had just happened, but not anywhere near adverted to it. Jisung thought he seemed quite excited actually. He took note on the fact that San might have a kink for being rode.

“Yes, please.” Said boy politely answered.

Jisung gave it no more thought and just starting unzipping San’s pants and lowering them, not completely, just enough for his dick to be out. If he hadn’t been this desperate, he would’ve probably tried getting San’s clothes off completely, but he just couldn’t be bothered right now.

As soon as San’s dick was exposed, Jisung grabbed the forgotten bottle of lube and put a generous amount of the substance on his hand, so he could spread over his friend’s cock, as well as his entrance, just to be sure. After he deemed himself ready, he started lowering himself on San’s member, using one hand to stabilize it in place.

With every inch he got into himself, Jisung felt his breathing becoming more erratic. He had missed this feeling so much. The feeling of being so absolutely full. It made him shiver from excitement. His eyes were closed once again and he knew he must have looked very obscene in that moment.

When all of it was inside of him, Jisung waited only a few mere seconds to adjust before elevating himself and slamming back onto San’s lap, feeling the boy’s cock fill him in once again.

He kept that rhythm for a few minutes, not so fast, but not so slow either. The both of them were now breathing faster and moaning louder than before. Jisung was thankful the studio was soundproof or else, they would be very angry people knocking on the door right now.

San did the same thing he did earlier: he wrapped his arms around Jisung’s waist and pulled the boy closer. But this time, instead of resting his head on Jisung’s chest, San actually went for his neck. As soon as he started to lick and suck softly the skin, Jisung knew what he wanted to do.

“You can’t mark me.” He said. “People are going to see it.”

San only stopped his movements to respond.

“You can put make up over it.” He said. “And if we’re doing this so you can get Minho back, we should make him notice you’re hooking up with someone. This will do.”

Jisung wanted to fight back, but San was right. Even though trying to cover that up would definitely suck.

As San kept on sucking marks on his neck, Jisung felt himself get closer to the edge. San’s dick was hitting every spot in such a nice way, he wouldn’t be able to hold it for much longer. But he didn’t need to anyway. By the looks of it, San was just as close to cumming now. His movements were erratic and his moans louder.

Jisung also couldn’t keep his pace as steady as before. As he got closer to finishing, his legs felt weaker and Jisung felt less in control of his actions overall. But it wouldn’t take much more.

The moment he felt the orgasm bolt through his body, Jisung stopped moving his legs and let his muscles spasm on their own. He arched his back and let his head fall onto San’s chest, who was still hard inside of him.

It didn’t take very long for his friend to finish though. With his orgasm, his hole must have also closed in on San’s dick, which seemed to have pushed him over the edge. The boy let out a hoarse moan and Jisung could feel the warm liquid being spurted inside of him. And even though, his dick was softening, Jisung felt it twitch at the realization they had forgotten to use a condom. He was now full of San’s cum.

They both stayed in that position for a few minutes, still catching their breath and taking in all of what had just happened, before finally getting up, cleaning themselves and moving on with their lives like nothing had happened.

But Jisung’s neck was now full of marks which proved otherwise. And Jisung was excited to see Minho’s reaction to them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh well... I hope y'all are enjoying reading this bc i sure as hell am enjoying writing it

Trying to hide the marks on his neck to everyone but Minho was turning out to be quite difficult. He needed to let them visible enough so the dancer would see but not the rest of the group. But how could he do that when they were always together? They lived together, worked together and even hanged out together. It was almost impossible, Jisung was putting a lot of effort into this. He really missed Minho, after all.

The first time Minho noticed the hickeys on Jisung’s neck was, ironically, when they were all together. They had been practicing for hours and were covered in sweat. Jisung had worn a turtle neck that day, to hide the marks from the members, and was regretting that decision. But, in the middle of it all, he ended up forgetting about them. With the intention of wiping the sweat from his neck and letting some cool air hit his skin, he pulled the neckline of his shirt a bit, exposing the hickeys San had given to him.

He hadn’t even been trying to catch the dancer’s attention, but it definitely did, judging on how he looked so shocked right now.

For a moment, Jisung couldn’t understand why Minho was staring at him like that, but realization soon hit him, making him put his turtle neck to its original state.

His cheeks burned and he turned away, not only trying to hide his flushed face but also his smile. Minho couldn’t suspect he was doing this on purpose, or it wouldn’t work. Minho needed to actually believe Jisung had moved on and didn’t care anymore.

Jisung spent the rest of practice trying his best to not notice how Minho was looking at him through the mirror. The other members didn’t seem to be bothered by it. They probably though the dancer was just analyzing Jisung’s moves or something, which would be true if Minho wasn’t looking at him like he had just seen Donald Trump in person (whom he really hated for obvious reasons).

Jisung was very happy with the boy’s reaction to say the least. He couldn’t wait to tease him even more, in many different ways.

Throughout the next few days, the hickeys had already started to fade and Jisung barely needed to use makeup to cover the now. So, he figured it was already time to do something else. This time, he wanted to be a little bolder.

He told his members he would be going out to see a friend, making sure Minho also heard it. No one said anything about it and Jisung went out.

San had been waiting for him in front of his company, to take him to his group’s dorm instead. San said they would have the place for themselves, since the members were given a small vacation for the week and decided to visit their families. Jisung asked why San hadn’t also went to see his parents and the only response he was given was that it wouldn’t be as fun. Jisung didn’t mind dropping the subject.

They weren’t even planning on doing much of anything today, it was all part of the play. Jisung had talked to San about taking pictures of himself. Nudes, if you will, and “mistakenly” send them to Minho. His friend had immediately agreed to it.

To San’s surprise though, these weren’t just simple pictures. Jisung had chosen to make them even bolder than a plain nude.

This was also something he would fantasize about but had never actually tried. Lingerie, that is. He had always wanted to try it but never had the courage to buy one and use it. That’s until he had enrolled in this whole thing with San though. Now he wanted to be much bolder. He wanted Minho to have a taste of what experiences he was missing.

He had bought white lace panties from a sex shop on the internet. The delivery was protected, no one could find out and the packaging had been discreet. Jisung had just received the item a couple of days ago and was waiting to try them out.

But instead of waiting until he got to the dorm, Jisung had been too excited. He came prepared and had worn the unique underwear piece underneath his normal clothes. This only made the ride to San’s dorm even more nerve-wrecking. It fed his exhibitionist kink so well. Feeling the fabric rub against his private parts while in public, knowing could tell. His dick had been half-hard even before they got to the front of the building.

After the got into the building and into San’s dorm, they went straight to the bedroom, since they were both scared of San’s housemates coming back sooner than expected and seeing things they were not meant to see.

The moment Jisung took off his clothes and laid down on San’s bed, Jisung could feel the sexual tension in the air. San was definitely not expecting to see Jisung wearing lace panties and that must have done a lot to him, because the boy even forgot to get his phone out of his pocket to take the pictures. He just stared at Jisung, amazed.

“I thought we weren’t planning on fucking today.” San said. “But how am I supposed to look at this and take pictures and _not_ get horny? This is some impossible task you have given me Ji.”

Jisung just laughed, but knew this would be hard for him too. He loved being watched. The fact that San was supposed to take pictures of him wearing almost nothing and touching himself was already making him hard.

The first photos were quite simple actually, just Jisung laying on the bed in different poses with some aesthetic lighting coming from the window. But soon Jisung grew more excited. He started touching himself over the fabric, making his skin feel raw from the friction. It hurt so good. But he needed more, so he decided to lower the panties just enough to let out his dick, looking right at San as he moved his own hand over his cock.

It definitely did wonders to his friend as well, judging from the obvious boner he now had. It didn’t take long for the boy to start stroking himself over his pants.

After maybe forty minutes of taking pictures, Jisung deemed it was enough of that. He had been edging himself for a while now and San looked pretty wrecked already. It was obvious they wanted the same thing so why not just do it? They were alone and didn’t have any reason to stop.

San went a little softer on him this time around. Still very energetic, but not as hard as he had been the first time in the studio. Jisung didn’t mind though. San was still very good at using his dick, as expected.

This time around, they had purposely not used a condom, already thinking of the last picture they would take.

After Jisung had come on San’s bed sheets and said boy had finished inside of him, Jisung stayed put so San could get up and take the final photo. A picture his cum dripping out of Jisung’s hole while the rapper held his own ass cheeks apart.

Later, when Jisung actually looked at the photo in his phone, he decided that would be the one he would send to Minho “accidentally”. He was very excited about that already. It almost made his soft cock get hard again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating much lately, it's just that there has been a lot going in my private life and I'm dealing with a lot of shit from friends, family and basically myself. sorry that I can't promise to post quickly.

Jisung had already settled with what he would say when he sent the picture to Minho. While laying on San’s bed, he had orchestrated a whole story for how this would go. H decided that sending it before going back home would be a good idea. He also decided to act as if he hadn’t noticed he had sent it to Minho. He would send the picture and not say anything with it besides a naughty caption for it ⸻ as if he was supposed to send it to someone else, and just wait until he got home to see if Minho confronted him about it.

It seemed like a good plan and Jisung decided to not make it too detailed or then Minho would get suspicious about it.

He decided to send it while San was taking a shower. Not reason for that, he just felt like it at that moment. With the picture, he wrote “here’s the picture you took earlier since you asked me for it”. Jisung tried to make it as believable as possible, making it seem as if he was supposed to send it to the person he hooked up with and “accidentally” ended up sending to Minho. But the boy wouldn’t know that.

After a few moments, Jisung actually got a reply. Now San was already in the room with him, putting on some clothes after the shower.

“You should shower too, you know.” San said after putting his shirt on and looking at Jisung’s state. “You literally have cum all over you.”

Jisung just shrugged him off.

“Not now, Minho just responded to my text with the picture.”

After hearing that, San went straight to the bed, sitting beside Jisung so he could see the phone’s screen as well.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had already sent it? I wanted to help you with the message.”

Jisung giggled at that. This whole seemed very unusual, but for some reason, he didn’t mind.

“Sorry,” he said. “Got excited. But I haven’t opened his message yet, so you can see it first with me.”

San nodded and motioned for him to hurry up with it.

He opened the chat and found exactly what he had been wishing Minho would say. God, the boy was so predictable some times. Jisung knew just how he would react to certain things.

He read the message out loud.

“ _Ji, I think you sent this to the wrong person._ ” Jisung giggled in excitement. “He totally fell for this. Now I just need to answer like I didn’t realize and act all apologetic. It’ll do the trick.”

San agreed and helped him sound truthfully sorry. He helped him with what to say and how he would try to explain himself in that situation. San seemed to know a little too well about what to do in this kind of situation, but Jisung decided to not ask anything about it and just let it go.

After he was done with that, he finally got up to shower. But as soon as he was up, he realized he had forgotten about a tiny detail. Jisung still had San’s cum inside of him, and as proof of that, it started to drip out of him when he got up.

After hearing Jisung’s disgusted grunt and realizing what was happening, San only laughed about it, but Jisung could see he liked it. Breeding seemed to be one of San’s favorite kinks and Jisung was very happy to do his part.

He ran to the bathroom so any more of it would drip on the floor and started the water. Jisung hadn’t been wearing any clothes from their earlier activities, so he just waited for a few seconds for the water to get warm and entered the shower.

As soon as the warm liquid hit his skin, Jisung felt his muscles relax. He had been a bit worried about this whole thing. Although he had no thoughts on actually stopping the plan unless Minho forwardly complained to him about it, he did worry it could affect their friendship negatively even further. Jisung missed Minho as a partner, he truly did, but he feared he was actually ruining it even more by doing something like this.

The rapper didn’t spend too long dueling about it though. After today, if Minho indicates he’s truly uncomfortable about this, Jisung will stop and just move one, even if it hurts him.

After he was done showering and dressing up, he didn’t waste much time to go home. He said goodbye to San and walked his way back home. During the whole walk, Jisung could almost hear his heart pounding inside his ribcage. He was so incredibly nervous to see Minho. The boy was most likely gonna want to talk to him about what was happening and Jisung wanted to talk to him, he did, but, at the same time, Jisung was nervous he would fuck it up somehow. He was afraid Minho would catch up on the lie or just be disgusted with him. He didn’t want to look miserable in front of the dancer as well as looking like a liar.

Jisung took his time with opening the front door. The moment he stepped his foot inside, he realized nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. It was still early, so many members were still going around their dorm, doing their own things. Minho was sitting on the couch, watching tv with Felix and Jeongin.

The boy seemed completely fine. Not even a bit affected by the picture Jisung had sent him. Did he actually not care at all? Was he jealous? By looking at him now, it didn’t seem like he minded having Jisung fuck with other people at all. Maybe he really never thought of Jisung any different.

He was starting to overthink when he heard Felix call his name, which made Minho also look at his direction.

“Oh, you got home.” Felix said giddily. “Do you wanna watch a movie with us?”

Jisung adjusted his body weight to his other leg and tried to look like he wasn’t about to have a heart attack at any given second.

“Sorry, but I think I gotta say no.” he said, being sincerely apologetic to Felix. “But I’m really tired right now. I think I’m gonna take a nap.

Felix pouted but Jisung knew his friend was fine with it.

Jisung headed towards his room and laid down on his bed. He was indeed tired. That wasn’t an excuse to run away from Minho or anything. San was probably already sleep by now. Both of them were the type to sleep after fucking. Jisung also had to walk home so that was an extra effort.

He was almost dozing off when he heard the door open. He was so tired he barely even registered. Jisung only took notice of it when he heard Minho call his name.

“Jisung.” The boy said. “We need to talk a bit, wake up.”

Jisung grunted but still got up and sat still, eyes still heavy but awake enough to talk to Minho.

“Is it about the picture?” he asked. “It was an accident. I was supposed to send to someone else. I told you that already.”

Minho brushed him off and kept talking.

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about.” He said. “I mean, it is about the picture, but not the fact that you sent it to me.”

Jisung got curious now. He had been expecting Minho to say some thing else. Like ask who Jisung had been fucking with for example.

“In the picture… I saw that you… didn’t use protection.”

Jisung interrupted him immediately.

“Oh my God, don’t tell me you wanna have _that_ conversation!” Jisung said, still trying to keep his voice down though. “Minho, you’re not my mom.”

The boy seemed pretty embarrassed to be in the middle of this and Jisung felt a little sorry but not enough to stop it.

“I know.” He said. “I just wanted to make sure you’re safe. Do you know this guy well enough to let him… finish in you? Do you know if he has any diseases? Has he been tested?”

Jisung almost giggled at Minho’s worried expression. He actually cared about him.

“Woah, calm down.” Jisung said. “I know him. He’s been tested and he’s friend of mine. He’s fine. I wouldn’t just fuck with anyone, I’m not that irresponsible.”

Hearing that Minho visibly relaxed. Jisung couldn’t quite see if he was indeed jealous or not. He couldn’t tell if the plan was working or not. All Minho looked like right now was relieved.

“That’s good, then.” He said. “I should probably leave you alone now. You’re obviously tired from… doing things…”

And just like that, Minho left him alone in the room. As much as Jisung wanted to sleep right now, he also wanted to be with Minho for a little longer. He missed him. Very much so. The both of them hadn’t had much time to spend together, aside from work. Jisung couldn’t help but think about how close they used to be then, even without considering the fact that they were fuck buddies, they were good friends at least.

Jisung desperately wished he could go back in time and never confess to Minho.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay once again, but like i mentioned before i've been dealing with some shit lately and i'm just trying to get my life together. And it's not like I don't have time to write, I do, but I just feel tired and drained for the moment. Don't worry about the fic though, even if it takes long i will finish it ok. You guys will have an ending.

Minho desperately wished Jisung hadn’t confessed to him that day. Before that, everything had been just fine. They fucked when they could, which was great to blow off steam and relax. They could do their work better and there were less stress-induced fights within the group. It was great. Jisung was not the best at it, since they hadn’t been doing it for long and the boy had basically no experience before him, but he did great, and Minho was more than happy to teach him.

But the moment Jisung let those words out, Minho knew it was over for him.

He didn’t want to hurt the boy, he truly didn’t. And to be fair, he liked him enough to imagine himself dating him, but that’s the point. Imagination was completely different from reality.

Minho had only dated once in his life and it had hurt him immensely. He wouldn’t say he had become scared of attachment or something like that, since he knew Jisung would never do what his ex did to him. Jisung was just not like that. Minho was very close to him and knew this very well.

But after breaking up with… that person, he was a bit hesitant to enter any other relationship. He loved Jisung as a friend and as…, well, something else. But Minho still had issues to deal with. He couldn’t just start dating Jisung without having even began to deal with his past relationship problems.

And now, after everything, putting a label to what they had scared him. He much more liked if they could just keep things as they were. It was not as if Minho had been with other people during the time he’d been with Jisung. He wanted to be loyal even if they didn’t have a label on what they were to each other yet. From what he had seen as well, Jisung didn’t do anything with anyone else. Minho believed that even without calling it dating, the both of them had been happy.

But that’s not what Jisung wanted. Minho knew him. The boy wanted a relationship with commitment and labels. Things Minho couldn’t offer. Jisung was a romantic, and he had talked about how he always wanted to have a love like in the movies he watched. And all of them involved things Minho was very scared about.

That’s the reason Minho regretted taking Jisung’s virginity in a way. Don’t get him wrong. It had been amazing and Minho had loved every bit of it. He had been honored that the rapper had trusted him enough to do something so intimate and let himself be so vulnerable with him. But the moment they were done and lying in bed, Minho realized this would only make things harder. In those movies Jisung loved, people would always make love for the first time with the people they were in love and planned to spend the rest of their lives with. And although, he couldn’t say those things didn’t apply to them. He loved Jisung, he did. But he couldn’t give him what he wanted.

But it was already done. He couldn’t undo it as well as he didn’t want to. But he promised himself that would be the last time. Minho was afraid that if they kept that up, Jisung would want more.

Unfortunately, Minho realized, that didn’t matter, because the moment those words left Jisung’s mouth, Minho knew they should have never started anything. It obviously meant a lot more to Jisung than the dancer had expected.

And that’s why he decided to end everything. It shouldn’t go any further. Things had already started to get complicated. It was for the best.

But now, seeing Jisung go around with other people, Minho wasn’t so sure anymore that the boy liked him all that much. Maybe he had already moved on, realizing that Minho didn’t want anything with him.

Another thing Minho realized though, is that he also may care for Jisung a lot more than he anticipated. When he went to question Jisung about his so called “activities” with other people, Minho didn't imagine he would get so jealous when Jisung confirmed what happened. He’d been rather blunt as well. Minho felt himself get even more upset by the fact Jisung seemed to not at all about sending that picture to him, even if it had been by mistake. He looked as if he gave no fucks about Minho knowing he was in fact sleeping with other people.

Don’t get it wrong, Minho didn’t care if he did see other people. It was his choice as an adult and Minho wasn’t one to slutshame anyone. But he just seemed very relaxed with the whole situation, given he had confessed his love to Minho not long ago. He couldn’t have already gotten over him, right? That would’ve been fast. Too fast.

Or maybe, he was faking it. Being ok and all. Minho gave it a thought. Maybe he was just acting like he was alright and fucking with other people to forget and make himself move on. It’s not like Minho hasn’t used this method before. He definitely did after he broke up with his ex-boyfriend. He used to go around quite a bit actually. Mind you, always in a safe discreet way. He had known he could be kicked out from the company otherwise.

But now, in his room, trying to understand his own feelings, the last thing he could do was sleep. It was early, so him not feeling sleepy yet was logical, but Minho didn’t want to deal with his problems right now. Out of all times, this was when he most wanted to just fall asleep and forget about everything for a few hours until he would have to wake up to reality again.

Minho actually thought about asking Chan for one of his sleeping pills, but that would come with questions. The leader wasn’t stupid. With free time and a couple of hours before dinner, why would one of his members be asking for sleeping medication? It made no sense. No one in these situations would be this desperate to sleep without any good reason.

So, the dancer decided to not go to Chan. That would be too stressful.

Suddenly, he remembered a trick many people used to get tired out when they couldn’t sleep.

Masturbation.

Of course, how could he not think about this before.

He grabbed his phone, attached his earphones and went searching for something to watch, something that would really rile him on. After looking through some accounts on twitter and a porn site, Minho remembered he had saved some of his favorite videos in his gallery for desperate times. He would always download some for when he couldn’t find anything interesting.

Looking through his gallery and downloads, something caught his eye. It was not a video however. It was Jisung’s picture. The one the boy had sent him accidentally. Minho forgot to delete earlier. He meant to.

No. Nope. Wrong. Most definitely something he should not do.

Using this picture to masturbate would be so wrong in many moral ways. Jisung told him he’d sent it as an accident. This was not meant for him to see and get off to. This had been for someone else. For the person Jisung was now currently having a thing with.

But he couldn’t deny it looked incredibly sexy, even from the small preview screen on his phone. Minho was very tempted to clicking on it so he could see better, but pulled his finger away. He had, once again, to remind himself this was never meant for him to see, but somebody else entirely.

…

Fuck it.

As the imagine got bigger, Minho could finally see all the little details. There was a lot to look at. Jisung was wearing lace panties that very transparent. Which didn’t matter all that much since he had pulled them away to show his hole off. It was red, hairless and with cum dripping out of it. Not his cum. Someone else’s cum.

Minho absolutely hated that thought. He shouldn’t be jealous. He was the one that decided to end things between them. That would a hypocrisy.

This thought was swept from his mind, when Minho took a look of Jisung thighs. He’d seen them many times before, but not in this way. Not in this angle. With his legs open and glistening with both sweat and cum.

Minho envied whoever had taken the picture. Whoever had the opportunity to not only do this to Jisung but see him in such a way.

The moment he noticed his hand had gone south and started touching his dick by itself, Minho knew he was fucked. There was no backing off right now. He was painfully hard and really wanted to cum. The dance couldn’t care less about the fact that this was Jisung’s picture and that this would probably would lead to other problems. Not right now. Not when his brain could barely function.

He just needed to get off.

Minho just wasn’t aware his door had been opened and a very shocked Jisung had waked in on him like this.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys i'm back i guess, i have to let yall know this fic is getting to its end. This is not the last chapter but the ending is close enough. To be honest, this is a bit rushed as I'm currently traveling and doing all sorts of things with my life, but oh well, it's never an easy life

Minho immediately tried to cover his body with the covers, but it was already too late. Jisung had already seen everything. To be honest, this was something that happened a lot while living in a dorm, so Minho shouldn’t feel this embarrassed, but he just couldn’t look at Jisung right now. Not after getting caught masturbating using his picture.

But Jisung didn’t need to know that.

Minho tried to hide his phone, but he got nervous and accidentally dropped it because of his shaky hands. To Minho’s misfortune, the object fell with the screen facing upwards. It was unlocked still. It took a second to Jisung noticed what was on it.

“Is that my picture?” the boy asked him, confused.

Oh, this situation was so terribly awkward. Minho just couldn’t think of any excuse, so instead he decided to just get up with the covers around his body, run towards Jisung, push him outside and lock the door after.

The dancer was breathing hard and he was still too panicked to think properly. But in the mist of all of this, he noticed his dick was still hard. How so, Minho couldn’t really understand. He thought that, after being this humiliated, it would just go down, but getting caught apparently only fueled his fantasies.

This was too embarrassing for him to get off now though, so he just tried to ignore it and wait until it went away, which worked after a while, but he still had one issue to deal with.

Jisung. He was probably incredibly confused and probably just as embarrassed. Minho should talk to him. He really should. Conversation was a good thing. But saying it is easier than done. Minho could not face Jisung for the love of god. He truly just couldn’t look at his eyes now, let alone talk about what just happened.

So, he did what he was best at. He ignored his problems like he always did.

For days he tried to act like nothing had happened at all. Every time Jisung came to him and asked to talk privately, he either ran away or gave him an excuse to leave. He sure wasn’t proud of it, but pride was a luxury now. And being honest, after all of this, Minho would be surprised to find he still had any of it left.

The whole thing didn’t last long though. Soon the others were catching onto Minho’s weird behavior. He couldn’t wait until they started to ask questions, but he also couldn’t keep trying to act as if nothing was happening, so, finally, he gave up and let Jisung pull him into having _the_ conversation.

“What is wrong with you?” Jisung asked finally. “Why you’re acting like this. Is this because of what I saw a few days ago? Because there is no shame in…”

“Please, don’t finish that sentence.” Minho interrupted. “Of course, there is shame in what I was doing, Jisung.”

The rapper was not having any of this though. He looked actually mad. No, not only that. Jisung also looked a bit disappointed by Minho’s choice of words.

“This has happened to all of us though.”

Minho almost laughed.

“No, it literally hasn’t.” Minho argued. “No one in this house has been caught masturbating to another member’s picture before! Can’t you see? This _is_ shameful. I was the one who pushed you away and told you that I didn’t want anything to happen between us anymore, and now you know that was a complete lie. Not because I told you so, but because of caught me. I lied to you and then ignored you when you finally found out. I am shameful.”

Minho lowed his head. He couldn’t look at Jisung right now. He was away too embarrassed by his own behavior. He wasn’t good to Jisung. He only treated the boy unfairly. Minho never deserved his affection at all. Jisung deserved to be with someone who wasn’t afraid of getting attached. Someone who only be able to commit to a relationship and make Jisung happy. Minho was never able to offer any of it.

He felt terrible about it. At least he could admit his mistakes. This was already better than his ex-boyfriend had done to him.

“Minho, wait.” He heard Jisung say as well. “I actually lied to you about something too.”

The dancer looked at him, surprised. What could Jisung have possibly have lied to him about? This whole time he thought he was the only one being untruthful, but as it turns out, Jisung was no different.

“I actually never sent that picture accidentally.” The boy confessed. “I meant it to send it to you in the first place. I wanted you to see and think I was now involved with somebody else.”

Minho was astonished. He probably looked incredibly confused right now, but it actually made sense. It just seemed very unlikely for Jisung to send that picture to Minho accidentally. They hadn’t chatted for ages, so Minho’s chat must had been at the bottom of his list at that time. There was no way he would accidentally scroll through all his conversations and send it to him.

Wow, thinking about it now, Minho actually couldn’t tell how he didn’t think of this before. Damn, he was indeed blind.

“So, does this mean you _didn’t_ go out with another person?” Minho asked.

That’s when Jisung started to look really shy.

“No, I did hook up with someone.” He admitted. “But, I kind of did it because I wanted the plan to be believable and because, to be honest, I was a bit angry with you for turning be down like that. I did with a friend and we both agreed to stop after I got enough material to make you possibly jealous.”

Ok, Minho couldn’t say he wasn’t jealous. He also couldn’t say he wasn’t mad at Jisung for actually fucking with another person while trying to get him back, but it was understandable. Minho couldn’t really blame him. They were never serious and even if they had been, at that time they had already stopped messing around. Jisung had no obligations with him, therefore Minho was not allowed to feel betrayed in any way.

He still kind of did though. But he could put that behind of them though. It didn’t matter now.

“You’re not shameful, Minho.” Jisung continued. “You were just provoked by me. I’m sorry what I did made you feel like you were doing something wrong. I didn’t think it could go that way.”

Minho smiled at how weird their situation had gotten. This whole had been so simple to resolve, yet they went around making things harder for no good reason. Minho thought that maybe he should tell Jisung about the reason why he was so scared of having a relationship. It would take some time, but maybe he could get over it. For Jisung. If he still wanted to do it, of course.

“We’re such idiots, you know that?” Minho said while laughing. “I like you, Jisung. I really do.”

Jisung smiled back, hopeful.

“But I can’t have a relationship yet. I don’t wanna put any label to what we have for a bit, if that’s ok. I actually had a problem with my past relationship and I developed a trauma because of it. But I’ll try to get better, if you still want to try.” He tried his best to explain himself. “I can’t promise I’ll be romantic. Sometimes getting close scares me a bit. So, I can’t promise we’ll be able to act like a couple, but I do like you, Jisung and because of that, I’m willing to try.”

The rapper did seem a bit disappointed by those words, which broke Minho’s heart, but Jisung also seemed to understand.

“You don’t have to explain yourself or tell me what happened.” Jisung said. “But I do wanna try it with you. I really like you too and would like to help you as well. And you can always tell me if I get too clingy or you get overwelled and I will let you alone until you tell you’re okay. I won’t make it harder for you. And later, after some time, if you get better, we can talk about it again and see if we can try am actual relationship, if you want. I won’t pressure you, I promise.”

Minho was incredibly happy right now. The idea scared him, but he didn’t want to be away from Jisung. Maybe one day he could actually get better and he wouldn’t be scared anymore. Then he would make sure to ask Jisung to be official. It could take some time but it would be worth it.

“Ok.” Minho responded happily. “We can try that. I missed you a lot.”

At that moment Jisung had the most beautiful smile on his face. His eyes were shining and Minho thought he looked so pretty. Yes, he definitely wanted to try.

“Can I kiss you?” Jisung asked him, hesitantly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want. I won’t get mad.”

Jisung was cute. He was the cutest person to exist. Minho was lucky.

“Yes, please.”

They wasted no more time and got closer until their lips touched. It was very chase at first but soon started getting more heated. Minho was the first one to make them get closer, for Jisung’s surprise. After all of this it could be a little too much for the dancer, but he seemed to be dealing with it well. Which was a great start.

But after a while, when things were starting to lead to something more intense, Jisung separated the both of them.

“Wait.” He said. “Let me lock the door real quick. I have something I wanna show you and I don’t want people barging into the room and making things awkward.”

Minho laughed but nodded. While the rapper went to do what he said, Minho turned around and sat on the bed, waiting for him. He didn’t expect, however, to see Jisung stripping in front of him, after he was done closing the door.

Minho took a gasp, surprised at what he was seeing.

Jisung started by taking off his shirt, revealing his pale chest which was more defined than it looked like over the loose shirt. Minho had seen him like this many times, and most of them weren’t even when they were doing anything by themselves. It had been when working, in changing rooms and during performances, when the rapper would lift his shirt.

But even after seeing this a million times, Minho couldn’t help but feel lucky for being able to see it one more time. For having someone so understanding as Jisung who could give him another opportunity even after Minho broke his heart.

Then Jisung started stripping his pants, showing off his black lace panties he had underneath. Minho could barely process what he was seeing. Did this motherfucker just plan this whole thing to the point he got ready beforehand? What a slut!

He was Minho’s slut now though.

…

This had been the first time Minho had thought of Jisung as his. Wow.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Jisung asked, looking a bit self-conscious.

Minho then realized he had been staring at Jisung silently while the boy took his clothes off. Maybe by now, he was expecting Minho would say something along the lines of ‘wow you look hot in those’, and Minho had just stood frozen.

“Oh, sorry.” He said and then laughed a little. “You look absolutely incredible.”

Jisung smiled at that and started to walk towards the bed Minho was on.

“You think so?” Jisung asked, while he put one bent leg over Minho’s thigh. His knee slightly pushing his legs apart.

The dancer couldn’t help but feel ecstatic. He missed having these moments with Jisung, with simple flirtation, which neither of them was good at.

“You, sly devil.” Said Minho playfully while bringing one of his hands to caress Jisung’s thigh. “I can’t believe you were hiding that underneath this whole time. You were planning on catching me tonight.”

Jisung shrugged.

“More like I got impatient and meant to come in and seduce you into having sex with me,” he confessed. “But, apparently, I didn’t even need to seduce you at all! You already wanted me this much.”

Minho giggled with Jisung’s confession. But he began to hate the distance between them, so he pulled Jisung onto his lap by his waist. Minho heard Jisung let out a surprised gasp and smiled, pleased with the reaction. He always loved making Jisung make all sorts of sounds.

The moment the rapper was on his lap, Minho let his hands wander underneath the boy’s shirt, over the skin on his abdomen and waist. He could feel Jisung arch into the feeling, already getting sensitive with his touches. The dancer couldn’t say he wasn’t expecting this. He knew Jisung way too well. The boy had always been such a sucker for teasing that only feeling Minho’s hands caressing his skin made him feel weak already. It would be so easy for Minho to break him.

And he couldn’t wait to do all of what he had in mind.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to say this but this is the last chapter of this series. I can't say I'll ever write anything else in the "Tiny Hands" Universe. I'm actually thinking of moving onto new ideas and stories that I think you guys could enjoy. I hope all of you liked reading this story. I tried really hard to make it good for you all. If you want to keep in touch with what I write and also read smaller plots, you can always follow me on twitter. My user name is also sungshaze and I go by Rina there. I also have an art account on instagram which is oceanaview. Pls support me there if you could.

Minho didn’t wait much longer and pulled the boy’s hips into his own, making both of their cocks touch and twitch from the contact. Jisung closed his eyes and Minho could tell he was holding himself back, trying to not let out any moans too soon. They had barely started doing something and he was already so sensitive, he didn’t want Minho to know how much this was actually affecting him.

Jisung suddenly stopped everything and looked at Minho in all seriousness.

“Are we actually going to do something more or are we going to just do what we usually do every time?”

He looked a bit sad. Minho could tell he had been waiting for long to do something more intimate with Minho. All they always did was blowjobs or  handjobs ,  sometimes not even that, they would just grind on each other with clothes and all. Minho always wanted to have sex again, but he had been afraid. 

Now that he finally had the courage to talk to Jisung about what he was feeling, he wanted to go further. He wanted to let himself go. Minho wanted to make Jisung feel good. To finally be good to him, after everything he made the boy go through.

“Yes.” He said. “We can do it if you want to.”

Jisung smiled widely.

“I want to.” Jisung replied. “Really badly, actually.”

Minho then laid Jisung down on the bed, hovering over him. Minho placed one of his legs between Jisung’s and pressed down on his crouch, making the boy moan and arch his back. As Minho saw the reaction, he did again, harder this time. And each time Jisung’s noises became louder. Minho then pressed a finger to the boy’s entrance, over the thin fabric. 

What he felt surprised him.

A butt plug. Jisung had a butt plug stretching his hole.

“I can’t believe you.” Minho said, giggling. “You really prepared for this, didn’t you?”

Jisung didn’t reply. His face a pink mess and he tried to hide with his hands. Minho loved seeing him shy, but seeing his face was way better now. So, he grabbed Jisung’s arms and pulled them softly, to reveal the rapper’s face.

“Don’t hide from me.” He said. “I want to  se you. All of you.”

The boy nodded shyly.

Directing his attention back to the plug, Minho decided to just pull the underwear to the side, to see that Jisung’s hole was clenching around the object, already stretched nicely. It looked like there was some lube left as well, which Minho could take advantage of. 

The dancer then touched Jisung’s hole, around the plug. He could tell Jisung didn’t do this often because of how the skin was stretched tightly.

“Does it hurt?” Minho asked, to be sure he could proceed.

Jisung breathed harshly when Minho’s finger brushed against his skin once again.

“A little bit.” He said truthfully. “But I like it. The little sting that comes with it. It’s really good.”

Minho already knew Jisung was a bit of a masochist, but he had never actually done anything like this before. Whenever he would ask Minho to do anything to him, it would always be something like biting or scratching him. And Minho would never do it  to hard, just enough to leave a mark for some time.

Now seeing that Jisung actually really enjoyed these kinds of things, it made Minho question if it had hurt when Minho took his virginity. If it did, Minho didn’t think Jisung would tell him, probably afraid Minho would stop everything he knew.

But now it was different. Minho now knew just how much of a pain slut Jisung was. He didn’t need to be afraid of hurting him. Because he liked it even more when it did hurt.

Without warning, Minho grabbed the end of the plug and pulled it out. Jisung gasped at the sudden action, but it didn’t seem to have been too much for him. 

“I think it’s better if we decide on a  safeword .” Minho said. “I don’t want to hurt you too bad.”

Jisung agreed and looked at Minho.

“It’s sunshine.”

Minho smiled and nodded. Now they could finally continue. He  had been wanting to do something to Jisung for very long and now he finally had the chance to do it.

The dancer leaned in closer, enough for his face to be in between Jisung’s legs. He started slowly, just licking the abused hole. The skin was soft and Minho could still taste the lube Jisung had used. The moment he let his tongue work Jisung open softly, he heard the rapper moan loudly. They had never done this before. This was such an intimate act, Minho could tell Jisung truly trusted him.

Minho slowly made his tongue stiffer so he could easily penetrate Jisung’s hole with it. He tried to move around as much as he could , making the other boy squirm and let out the most beautiful sounds and whimpers. 

“No, wait…” Jisung suddenly said. “I don’t wanna cum too soon.”

Minho stopped his ministrations but with a proud smile. He did that. He made Jisung feel so good with only his tongue. The dancer felt a boost to his ego.

“I guess I can’t kiss you now, right?” Minho asked, being  self-conscious . 

Jisung was still a bit new to this kind of stuff. As far as he knew no one had eaten him out before, so he could be a little disgusted, or, at least, not used to it.

But to Minho’s surprised, the boy made a sad face when he heard it.

“Why not?” the rapper asked. “I don’t mind it at all. I still wanna kiss you just as much.”

Minho was relieved by hearing this. He had  ben worried. To be honest, he could tell Jisung was a bit nervous with all of this, even though it wasn’t the first time they had done it. Minho too was nervous. He wanted to be careful about the things he was doing  incase he could upset Jisung somehow. This was the first time they would be having sex after talking and understanding each other’s situation, so it was important to make everything special for the both of them.

After seeing that Jisung was okay with it, Minho went for a kiss. Only it lightly at first to see Jisung’s  reaction, but then it began to become deeper, which made Jisung whimper at Minho’s touch.

The dancer was holding himself back. His cock was already leaking inside his trousers and he wanted to fuck Jisung so hard right now, but he kept himself in check. He was supposed to take things slow and tease the by first, since Jisung enjoyed things like that quite a bit.

“Please…” Jisung egged him. “Please touch me.”

Minho smiled devilishly.

“I though you said you didn’t want to cum so soon.” 

Jisung breathed strongly.

“I’m okay now, I promise.” He said. “I won’ cum, but touch me, please.”

Seeing Jisung beg like that made Minho feel so powerful. But there was this one thing he wanted to try. Minho had always wanted to do this, but he had always been too afraid to do it. Before, it felt like he would be overstepping. But now? Minho wanted to try it all.

“Say ‘please, sir’.”

Jisung seemed shocked but at the same time, Minho saw his little dick twitch inside his panties. 

“Please, sir.” The rapper said it with a soft tone, still quite shy about it.

Minho was happy about Jisung submitting so easily, but he wanted more. So much more.

“Will you do whatever I tell you to?” he asked. “Like a good boy? Will you be a good boy for me?”

Jisung’s face became incredibly red with Minho’s words, but still nodded.

“Say it.”

“I’ll be a good boy, sir.”

Minho smiled and let his had wander down until it reached the waist-band of Jisung’s lace panties, pulling them down, so he could have full access to the other boy’s dick. It was red and glistering from pre cum. Minho thought it looked pretty. He also had a thought of blowing him  right now, but he could do that another time. Instead he placed his hand on the shaft and started to lightly jerk it off. 

Jisung moaned immediately, letting the back of his head hit the bed. His eyes rolled back and his back arched with pleasure.  With that reaction , Minho started speeding up his actions. Jisung tried to close his legs immediately after that, but Minho then used his other hand to force them open. At that moment, he didn’t care how sensitive Jisung was, he truly just wanted to wreck him.

This was proving to be a pretty good way to achieve this.

Suddenly, Jisung’s moans started to get gradually louder and his back arched. He was going to cum, Minho realized.

And that’s when he stopped everything he was doing. 

The moment the dancer took his hand off Jisung’s cock, the rapper whimpered and whined with the lost of contact and the ruined orgasm. Minho knew that Jisung liked it when he edged him. 

“Please. Touch me again.” Jisung whined loudly. “Please let me cum.”

Minho smiled.

“No.”

The dancer complained and Minho could see he had tears in his eyes. That’s what he wanted to happen. Minho wanted to  make Jisung break.

“I thought you said you would a be a good boy for me.” Minho remined him. “Did you lie to me?”

Jisung shook his head, but that wasn’t enough for Minho and he noticed, so he spoke up.

“No.” he answered. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Good.”

Then he started to touch Jisung again. His cock was incredibly hard and Minho could see the tip was red and angry, so he  obviously went straight for it. He rubbed his palm against the slit, which made Jisung let out a loud moan. Minho knew that  this was risky. Jisung was loud and there was always the risk of someone hearing him but he just couldn’t think about it right now. This was the first time they did something like this. Minho was never one to dominate and Jisung wasn’t completely submissive. 

Minho wanted this to be remarkable. 

And then he noticed Jisung was getting close again, so he stopped. And just like the first time  he whined and cried because of how sensitive he was.

As much as he loved edging Jisung, Minho’s hard on was starting to really hurt inside his pants, so he started to undress himself when he saw Jisung’s breath stabilize . 

The rapper  was looking at Minho with admiration, he even felt a bit shy, but didn’t really want to show it. In a funny way, he felt venerable too. He had been naked in front of Jisung  numerable times but this felt special. Jisung was looking at him like he was something so… ethereal. He felt good and happy.

Maybe he could do the whole relationship thing after all. Even if it took some time for it to happen.

After he was done taking all of his clothes off , Minho laid on top of Jisung. He wanted to kiss him, so he did. Despite their current situation, the kiss was sweet and  soft. It was meaningful. Minho liked it. A lot.

“Are you read?” He asked Jisung right after.

The boy underneath him and smiled and nodded happily.

After hearing the confirmation, Minho sat up and looked for the lube and a condom. The moment Jisung saw the package, he grabbed Minho’s hand softly.

“Don’t.”  Jisung said. “I want you to... finish inside...”

Minho was taken aback but happily discarded the condom package to the side and started to pour some of the lube onto his dick. Usually he would prepare  Jisung with his fingers first before penetrating him, but the rapper had already done it beforehand. His hole was still stretched from the plug. Minho didn’t know for how long he had kept the object in, but he could see it had for enough to lose him up nicely.

“I’ll put it in now, okay?” Minho warned the other. 

Jisung nodded and laid his head down, waiting for Minho to act. 

The dancer grabbed the base of his own shaft and lined it up to  Jisung’s wet hole. Minho could see his hands were a bit shaky from how excited and nervous he was, but he tried to push the thought away.

Slowly, he pushed inside.  Jisung’s walls were tight around him and Minho had to stop for a moment to control himself from fucking into the boy. What he actually wanted was to fuck him hard and fast, but he calmed himself. When  Jisung was more used to it, he would be able to do anything he wanted. He just needed to wait a bit more.

After a few moments,  Jisung told him it was okay for him to start  moving .

Minho didn’t have to be told twice. The dancer started moving his hips immediately, thrusting into  Jisung in steady motions. As he started to fuck the rapper, the boy whined with how sensitive he felt. Seeing that, Minho started to thrust in harder, making a slapping sound fill the room. 

It was obscene, really. The way  Jisung was moaning loudly and Minho couldn’t care less if the other heard it. It felt so good to be inside of him. He was tight and warm and Minho could barely think straight. No pun intended.

“Please,”  Jisung begged. “I  wanna cum so bad.”

Minho smiled.

“Ask nicely and I will think about it.”

It was obvious the other boy was a shy mess right now. His face was pink and he had tears dripping down the sides of his face. Minho didn’t even think he noticed he was crying at all. 

“Please, sir,”  Jisung pleaded once again. “Let me cum, sir. I really need to.”

Minho never saw  Jisung beg like this. He had always been a bit of a brat to be honest. Always letting his ego get the best of him. But now, he looked like a mess. A crying and needy mess. And Minho loved it all.

“Then cum, slut.” Minho said. He saw the way  Jisung’s face expressed relief and decided to be a sadistic little shit. “Only I after I cum though.”

And then  Jisung whined once again. Minho was going to tell him off for it, but decided to let it go for now. 

He kept fucking the smaller boy hard and fast, chasing his own orgasm. And at that moment, a wild thought crossed his mind while looking at  Jisung’s pale neck. He wanted to mark him up. He thought about how the boy had someone else do it to him to make Minho jealous. It had worked for sure. But now, Minho wanted to leave his own mark on him. To make sure  Jisung wouldn’t go for anyone else anymore. Like he was branding the rapper as  _ his _ .

Minho didn’t find any good reason to not do it, so he lowered his head to the boy’s neck. He licked the skin first, testing  Jisung’s reaction. After he heard the boy let out a small gasp, he continued. This time he sucked on it harshly, with the intention of leaving purple spots. 

After some time, Minho opened his mouth and buried his teeth on the skin above the collarbone, making sure every single tooth would show up later. 

Jisung let out the most beautiful painful cry, and it pushed Minho over the edge. He came into  Jisung while riding his orgasm. Still thrusting into the boy despite his sensitivity. The rapper seemed to enjoy it though, as Minho felt his walls clench around his softening cock, indicating he was coming.

The smaller boy’s legs shook with intense energy crossing his body. His muscles flexed and his back arched off the bed, making their bodies get closer to the point their bellies were touching. Like this, Minho could feel the slick substance between them. It was oddly satisfying. 

It took a while for the both of them to get down from their high, but as soon  as it became too much, Minho slid his now completely soft cock off and laid down beside  Jisung . 

“Ok,”  Jisung said. “That was fucking amazing.”

Minho laughed.  Jisung was always the done to say stuff like this in the most unusual situations. Orgasming always made him extra honest.

“I really liked you, you know?” Minho said, wanting match  Jisung’s honesty. “I was afraid of saying that before because I thought I could never give you what you wanted.”

Jisung smiled at him foundly.

“I want you, Minho.” he said. “I don’t care how. Being with you is enough for me.”

And with that they both fell into a comfortable silence. The two of them felt happy and accomplished. Despite everything that happened, they were okay.

Minho looked at  Jisung , while the boy started to drift away. He knew now. He loved him. He wanted to be better for him.  Jisung might have said that what they have now is enough for him, but Minho still wanted to get better someday. To be able to give what  Jisung wanted. To make him happy. To make himself happy.

And looking at the boy beside him right now, Minho could tell he could do it.  Jisung was good for him and  Minho truly wanted to make it up to him. 

After all these years suffering, Minho could finally feel he had a chance in love. He was no longer scared to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until the next one guys!!

**Author's Note:**

> Original tweet: https://twitter.com/polyracha/status/1201224064532189184?s=20


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